Newport Beach, CA

Nick: This one’s for my little sister who once, and perhaps still does, have a strong affinity for MTV shows centered around the glamorous life of various Hollywood citizens. Brittany, we spent the day at Laguna beach. Yes, it was super fab, but no, we didn’t see Lauren Conrad. I know, we were disappointed too. Once we’d parked the car, who I suspected felt a little insecure surrounded by dozens of Porsches, Beemers, Mercs and Ferraris, we set out to find a burrito place (surprised?) that had probably been recommended to us by someone. Hey, iPhone application Yelp, thanks for screwing us for the millionth time on this trip. Though the address that it provided was accurate, the map it provided took us nearly two miles up this crazy hill. When we finally figured out the problem, we realized that we had literally walked past the place almost an hour earlier. Alas, despite our best efforts, we’re still occasionally tricked into doing some exercise.

Brian: Also note that it took us an hour to walk a mile uphill. Clearly the exercise was well needed. We planned on having a chill beach day just building sandcastles and reading sci-fi novels on the sand but it was windy and cold, so we retreated to the comfort of the pool/hot tub in Mike and Cindy’s housing complex. It’s not indoors but it is enclosed so the wind was not a factor. I guess we are the only people in California that don’t take sunny weather in January for granted because we were the only people at the pool. When we got back to the house, Mike invited us to tag along with him to the driving range, and we regrettably accepted his offer.

Nick: I think we did alright. I mean, Brian and I are not golfers. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But after an initial handful of whiffs we were getting the balls into the air. I was impressed. Back at the house, it was time for a hearty home-cooked meal of rice and stew. Oh yeah. Clean, well-rested and well fed for the first time in weeks, we donned our danc’n shoes and hit the town. The first place was called Sharkeez I believe, and the place was bump’n. There was a large number of young men and women rocking Snuggies, which is just fine by us. After procuring a couple of the most expensive beers ever in life, we found a table and began drinking them very, very slowly. Oh hey, Brian, there are some pretty cute girls at the table behind us. What? You’re goin’ in? Alright man, I hope you know wh- Oh hi, my name’s Nick, nice to meet you girls.

Brian: What can I say? I make Mystery look like Steve Urkel.

Nick: We chatted the ladies up for a while, then, playing it cool, headed out to a more dance-oriented location with their promise to meet us there in a bit. We got there, the line was forever, and so we bounced. Brian says the hunt is half the fun. I’m not so sure, but I didn’t want to wait ten years in a line. Brian and Nick, over and out of luck.