Sewickely, Pa through Scranton, PA

Nick: Morning readers. Today’s post comes to you from a small coffee shop in rural Vermont. We’d like to take this opportunity to personally apologize for the lack of posts in the last couple days, as we know many of you have been hungrily awaiting an update of our journey. It is not for lack of writing on our part, but for a lack of Intermet in the deep woods.

Brian: Aside. No, that’s not a typo. Nick and I were sharing with each other the hilariously crappy local commercials we’ve grown up, and stumbled upon an old Vern Fonk gem. According to him, “Internet” is actually pronounced “Intermet”. It’s on YouTube. End Aside.

Nick: You see, the last few days have been spent mostly in the wilderness, fending off wild animals and starting fires without the wonderment of modern inventions like Duraflame logs. (Thus far, we have been fabulously successful on both counts.) Allow me to fill you in:
On Thursday morning, Amy sent us on our way with delicious cupcakes (thanks again!) and we left the Pittsburgh area towards Scranton, PA. The address we plugged into the GPS was that of Poor Richard’s Pub. That’s right. Along the way, we stopped to check out the Niagara Falls. The American Niagara falls, mind you. Brian and I decided that if there was part of the falls that couldn’t bee seen from the U.S. side, it wasn’t worth seeing. Sorry Canada, no dice.

Brian: Nice try with your massive waterfront Ferris-wheel though. Lesser men would have fallen for such blatant pandering. Here are a couple pics from the winning side:





(A photo of a man Japanese man taking a photo. If you weren't sure, that's called zen. Maybe not.)

Nick: The giant waterfall was cool I guess, but I’ll probably remember the best fish sandwich ever that we had nearby more than anything else from that day. I think the restaurant was called “The Beach House.” Tasty.

Brian: I took the steering wheel for the five hour drive from Niagara to S(Compton)ranton. As our friends know, Nick and I can’t spend five hours together without inventing a new game, and “Seabiscuit” as we coined it is a prime example of our creativity. Step 1: Pull up along the left side of a car on the highway. Step 2: Racially, sexually, and haircut-ly profile the driver. Step 3: Have the passenger stare directly at the other driver until he or she makes eye contact with the driver. Step 4: Pull away laughing hysterically.

Nick: AKA, smoke them a la Paul Walker. Minus the laughter. And the general douchiness. And minus the hair. Actually, forget Paul Walker. We pull away a la Vin Diesel. Yes.

Brian: We haven’t collected enough data to make a statistically sound conclusion, but honorable mentions to the guy who broke the sound barrier to get away from us, the guy who was already looking at us when we pulled up-
Nick: That was way creepy.

Brian: -and the girl texting on her Blackberry who we matched for miles without a glance. We are taking notes diligently so rest assured we will have conclusions in about a week.

Nick: We eventually made it to Scranton, though when we “arrived” there was no sign what-so-ever for anything that might be a pub. We inquired of a kindly gentleman smoking behind a nearby bowling alley where it might be, and he directed us into the bowling alley itself. To our surprise, there was absolutely no indication that the place was frequently mentioned in the hit show “The Office.” That was fine with us though. We ordered some chow and a couple beers, turned on the back T.V. to NBC, and watched our show as weird locals scampered around behind us.

Brian: Yeah, for some reason a dude literally crawled into the bathroom and we never saw him leave. This trip is full of mysteries.

Nick: We left the bar after dusk, and made our way to a nearby state park. Under cover of darkness, we slipped in, pitched our tent with incredible dexterity and purpose, then fell asleep. With Ninja like stealth, aided by the Civic Hybrid (which everyone knows is perfectly silent under 10mph as its advanced engine actually absorbs sounds which are converted to fuel,) we quit the park in the most intense fog ever. A deer guided us through, though, so we made it out in one piece.
Song of the day: “The Omen” by Prodigy. Food of the day: Fried fish sandwich, of course. Question of the day: A man pushes his car, stops in front of a house, and goes broke. How did this happen? I don’t know, I’m asking you, readers.