Brian: We rose early and showered (first shower of the trip, yikes!) before heading south along the Oregon Coast and hopefully into the California Redwood forest. It was my turn to drive as Nick has acquired a job as a traveling writer and needed to start working on his articles about road trips (a subject I daresay he is an expert on).
Nick: Ah, let's not be too hasty. I needed to work on an application for a travel writing job. Unfortunately, Pride, Prejudice and Zombies was playing, so I was a bit less than productive....
Brian: For breakfast we stopped at a super-healthy diner/natural food store. I'm not being sarcastic for once, my gluten-free biscuits were covered in vegan gravy and I had a cage-free local organic egg on the side. I'll take that over scrapple any day. So we hit the road and listened to more Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I originally thought was going to be good. However, I didn't consider that most author's writings will pale in comparison to Jane Austen's satiric genius.
Tyler: Yeah, I have a hard time believing Elizabeth could walk around on her finger tips regardless of who she trained under in China, and scenes in which she strangles ninjas to death using their own intestines seems to be a scene from a cheesy early 90's kung-fu movie, not a piece of literature that the author claims got no criticism except "not enough zombies."
Nick: I listened to the book as though I would a good movie on TV: enjoyable while it was playing, but occasionally interrupted with an obnoxious interjection I wish would just end so I could get back to my flick. (If your not familiar with the work, P, P and Z is Austen's famous book filled with a contemporary author's vision of an 18th century England filled with zombies.) A great idea that just wasn't fleshed out the way I might have liked. After some considerable driving, Brian pulled over at a scenic lot overlooking a coastal view. I like pretty things, but I wanted to be on my way, dammit. Only after exiting the car was I pleasantly surprised by Brian's detour.
Tyler: Yes, the view proved to be more spectacular than words or pictures can suffice. Although there will be pictures included here. It looked like a computer generated landscape meant to be more beautiful than physically possible. However one detractor almost knocked us off our feet. Literally. The wind had us leaning at 45 degree angles to keep from being blown over and at one point this awe inspiring force of nature claimed two pairs of sunglasses. One was swept over the side of a cliff and the other shattered into a million pieces as soon as they struck the ground.
Brian: Inspired by the beauty of the cliffs and awed by the ferocity of the wind, we pulled off at nearly every viewpoint possible along the southern Oregon coastline. One such pull-off had a thin grassy path to the beach below. One thing we haven't mentioned in the blog yet but have noticed several times is that we are much like hobbits in that we are on an epic journey and we have hairy feet. What kind of hobbits would we be if we didn't explore this trail fully? However, much like the Fellowship in the Misty Mountains above Khazad-dûm (the Dwarrowdelf) we were turned back by the intense Voice of Saruman. If we had turned the corner I fear more than my sunglasses would have been lost to the powerful winds.
Nick: We turned back, but it seems the Mines of Moria are closed during the off season. We just stuck with Highway 101. Another such side trip is especially worth noting, in my opinion anyway. It was a large beach, completely deserted, but punctuated with dramatic rock formations and a wind that pulled long trails of sand across it's unusually smooth surface. After running up and down the beach until our pants, shoes and socks were sufficiently full of sand and water, we piled back into the car and mare our way to Gold Bluffs Beach, a location Tyler has mentioned to us on a number of occasions and which we anticipated with great enthusiasm and zeal. If only we had known what horrors awaited us there...
Tyler: Gold Bluffs Beach is a secluded campground within the string of national and state parks that makes up "the redwoods". This particular campground is about 5 miles away from the nearest gas station "town" and about 5 miles down a hilly, one lane, gravel/dirt road surrounded by towering redwoods that blot out most of the already clouded sunlight. Yet, the campsites are right on the beach and because of the size of the road the annoyingly large R.V.s can't make it into the campsite. We set up a quick camp and went for a walk along the secluded beach. The entire time the only detraction from the nearly perfect scenery hung low in the sky in the form of dark gray clouds. We wished for sun, but sadly those desires would remain unrealized.
Brian: Splendidly ominous, Tyler. After a hearty dinner of pasta and bananas (our parents should be glad to hear) we retreated to our tent for our nightly game of Chrononauts. A light spattering of rain began but with foresight we had set up the rain-fly so we all doubted that it would affect us. As we retired for the evening Nick noticed some very minor leakage around the seams. Nothing a small towel barrier can't handle, until I turned my pillow over and realized that it had been absorbing water for upwards of a half-hour and consequently weighed about 135 lbs. Decision time.
Nick: OK team, here's the plan: Grab everything from the tent and run like little girls to the car. More plans to follow in the car...
Tyler: Screaming scared little girls in a haunted house, running from Freddy Kruger. But we were still manly.
Nick: Alright, we made it to the car. Here's the new plan: fall asleep. What? Sleeping in an already stuffed car, hammered by a ferocious thunderstorm with an uncertainty as to whether or not your fuel efficient yet generally wimpy car can make it back up the ridiculous wooded road now flooded in a deluge of rain water is difficult for you? Suck it up butter cup, we're men and this is the work of men. But, you know, I think it's OK if you want to scan the radio about thirty times over the course of the night to check for hurricanes. No one will judge us. Hurricanes are scary. We've had enough of them.
Tyler: Also, waking people up to listen to the rain is manly too, right?
Brian: Also taking off your soaking wet skinny jeans in the middle of the night is manly too, right?
Nick: Right!
Brian: Needless to say, none of us slept that well. You'll have to wait for the next post to hear about our morning (so chaotic we make Benny Hill look like Ben Stein). Like the Flintstone's cat, we are out for the night.
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