Seattle, WA - Portland, OR

Day 1

Brian: The road trip is officially resumed. With three people in the car space is at a premium, so we spent Thursday morning packing the car with Tetris-like efficiency and left for Portland around noon. I had barely torn into my first of many delicious jerky slices (thank you, Grandpa) when everybody's favorite song came blasting through the speakers. What is more definitive of our trip than "Party in the USA" except perhaps for Moxie? The universe itself seems to bless our journey.

Tyler: Yeah, not a huge fan but at least it's not that Kings of Leon song, which I've heard five times in the last two days.

Nick: It was happy and wonderful, but in a way, a little sad. It was as though Miley was holding us in her tender musical embrace we've been comforted by so many times and whispering in perfect auto-tuned harmony the words: "Though you might not always hear me on the radio, I am with you in all that you do. The first leg of the journey is over, and all that was is now in the past. A new day has dawned. Go forth, find a new teen idol to bop along to, and learn to love again." We will Miley. After a pretty quick drive, we arrived in Portland. First stop, REI. Tyler needed some new hippie gear I guess. We were also dangerously low on gas because someone neglected to fill up.

Brian: Sorry.

Nick: We coasted to a station, then set off to find our first of many a beer on this trip. Deschutes brewery was the worthy candidate to host such a momentous occasion.

Tyler: Yes the beer was good and we conversed loudly about jenkum, a great time to be had by all. After the brewery the time came for us to head to a tree party that a couch surfer invited us to. The party consisted of free beer and cocktails in a tree museum that took us about half an hour of navigating one way streets and windy roads to find. We stood just outside the entrance of the museum debating whether or not we wanted to spend 8 bucks to get in and whether or not we had to spend 8 bucks to get in. Turns out we were on the list, and the entire debacle cost zero dollars.

Brian: Technically it was a coffee party at a tree museum, but with free booze. As to the "cost" of the event, my liver might disagree. Either way the gracious and lovely (though spoken for) marketing goddess Lauren turned us loose in her after-hours event and we meandered around sampling various coffee-flavored local brews for a couple hours. Oh by the way, Portland has the most breweries per capita of any city in this country. Everyone you meet here will tell you that. I'm not complaining though. The point is they do beer pretty good...

Nick: Pretty well?

Brian: ...around here. We left the tree museum and headed over to a bar, the concept of which excited me so much I can't even write about it.

Tyler: Yeah pretty much Brian's biggest fantasy.

Nick: So check it out: when I first read the message from Sara, our couch surfing host in Portland, regarding the evening's activities, I had to tell Brian not to fall in love. I'm sure he tried, but I'm not sure he was ultimately successful. The first place we went to was a bar that served cheap PBR tall boys. O.K., so far so good. Oh, and they also had tons of classic arcade games and pinball machines. What? Yes, it's true. The DJ spinning chip music sealed the deal as the greatest bar of the trip.

Tyler: Yes, blasting zombies on House of the Dead is significantly easier with a beer in one hand and a great DJ in the room.

Nick: Turns out Tyler and I both have an affinity for melting the faces off the living dead with unlimited rounds of small arms fire. We almost beat the whole game... But the night had only just begun.

Tyler: Our host sped us off to the next bar but didn't tell us the "theme" until we got there. She asked us as we neared the entrance: "So, have you guys ever been to a drag show before?"

Nick: Yikes

Tyler: The place had fairly good prices on drinks, a bracelet netted you five PBRs for six bucks so the four of us got two bracelets total, not per person. We sat at our table and watched men dressed as a ladies lip-sync to classic pop tunes. The sheer novelty of it astounded all of us, and because Brian didn't join the other men on stage, Nick now owes me a beer from the Rogue brewery once we get there. In the adjoining bar/other room dance music and low lighting prompted all of us to dance until the late hours of the night and there may or may not have been cages involved.

Brian: Point of clarification: That bet was made entirely without my knowledge. I never expressed a desire to dress up as a woman and sing Whitney Houston or to be on stage with someone engaging in said activity. I guess Nick just thinks he can talk me into anything if I'm drunk enough. I guess that might be partially true...

Tyler: All true...

Nick: Point of clarification: I can talk you into anything if you're drunk enough. I didn't really try to get you on stage because I guess I figured it would just happen naturally in due time. Oh well.

Brian: So after a while we got tired of massive she-males and decided to hit up one last bar before the inevitable drunken food run. The name of the establishment escapes me but I do recall that the only person on the dance floor was a girl with a collection of hula-hoops. I'm not sure if it was the fatigue from our earlier dancing, or alcohol-related lack of coordination, but none of us could keep the hoop going for more than a few seconds. Sara consoled us by suggesting that the hoops were too small, and therefore our failure was inevitable. I know I can hula, so I want a second chance.

Tyler: I never tried: Nick and Brian looked like big enough fools without my contribution.

Nick: I resent that man. I think we were close, I really thought it would liven the place up if we could. But we couldn't. Depressing. The next place cheered us right up, though. Before I describe it however, I submit a side note to the humble readers of this blog: for literally years, I have been proposing the idea of a caramel drizzled piece of bacon as a delicious piece of culinary progress. I think the sweet and salty would be great, and I've never given up on these scruples despite severe persecution from friends and colleagues alike. Voodoo Doughnuts, which was our last stop of the night, was clearly founded by a baker with the same gastronomical imagination and courage I myself possess. There were a myriad of doughnuts: some with cereal bits sprinkled all over them, some with Oreo and peanut butter slathered on top, some that looked like mini birthday cakes. The best of all however, the sultan of all the doughnuts, was a maple flavored pastry topped with crispy, peppery bacon. It was truly spectacular. In fact, I think I can comfortably say the supreme rightness of that doughnut undid all of the past wrongs, all of the past edible evils we've endured on this trip thus far. I'm talking to you, crab sandwich.

Brian: Ok, first of all that soft-shell crab was delicious. Secondly, people have been putting maple syrup on their bacon since the dawn of breakfast, so although your caramel dipped bacon is a great concept, it hardly qualifies you as a culinary savant. Well that basically brings Day 1 of Part 2 to a close. Crazy bars, crazy food, free stuff from cool people, all in a days work for us road trippers. Brian, Nick, and Tyler out.