Nick: So we all sort of had a slower morning. My head felt like it was trapped between the balls of Brian’s office toy, and I don’t think my two companions felt 100% either. Therefore pancakes were in order. But I’ll tell you right now, this isn’t your grandparent’s pancake place, oh no. You order the type of batter and toppings you want, and you make your own pancake right there on the skillet. Favorite pancake creations of the morning: A yin-yang sign made out of wheat and white batter and chocolate chips, the letter J, and a target logo. They were tasty, not to mention pretty flipp’n artistic.
Brian: Holy crap. Flipp’n? You just blew my mind with the awesomeness of that pun. I have to admit, even Hibachi-style pancakes weren’t really enough to bring us to 100% power. We went back to Hannah’s flat and popped in another Star Trek disk (The Original Series, for all our Trekkie readers who are wondering). My initial reaction to the newest Star Trek movie was that it was a little too “out there”. But after watching Shatner’s Kirk get beamed through an electromagnetic field onto a parallel Enterprise where everyone is a Nazi and Spock has a beard, I realized that the error was not with the film but with me. It was after noon at this point and Hannah had some work to do so Nick and I walked around Nashville for a couple hours and grabbed a bite at a local delicatessen (mediocre). The highlight of the walk was stopping by a trailer park themed bar. Astroturf on the ground, an ex-demolition derby vehicle right inside the door, and PBR on tap. Sounds like our kind of establishment on any other day.
Nick: But not that day. Eventually we made our way back over to the big park with the replica Parthenon. Hannah caught up to us there, and with her remaining 30 shots or so, we took (new to me) jiggly face photos. You just wiggle your head back and forth as fast as you can while someone snaps quick pics. The results will hopefully appear on this website in the near future. By then it was dinnertime, so we worked our way over to a supposedly amazing chicken place with specialization in black bean salad and Jamaican style everything else. It was good to be sure, but the portions weren’t exactly enormous. Over dinner, we decided that while Miss Messinger had really wanted to hit up a haunted field or house while she didn’t have to go home to an empty apartment, we all figured we STILL weren’t quite at 100% so a movie might be a more plausible way to spend the evening.
Brian: Sarah and I wanted to see that Paranormal Something-or-other movie which is like a Blair Witch type of indy film where a bunch of kids get their cookies tossed in a haunted house. Nick and Hannah wanted to see Where the Wild Things Are. Tie goes to the hostess, but I think her vote should only have counted for half, because that’s how much of the movie she saw before she fell asleep in the theatre. Nick and I were just as tired though, and after we got back to base camp we all went straight to bed. We didn’t even have nightcaps! Sorry these recovery day blog posts are a little slower than the normal fare. Pop-culture vampires: in. Brian and Nick: out.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Atlanta, GA through Nashville, TN
Brian: So we awoke alone in Erin’s apartment, as previously noted, picked up our mess, and let the cat out of the bathroom about 2 seconds before we left. Erin worked at a coffee shop downtown, so we stopped by to say thanks, and she gave Nick a free diet Coke before we left. She was super nice.
Nick: Mmhmm. Also, I’m grossed out now thinking about Kelly Rippa’s outtie. Thanks. So after some coffee and bagel action we were on the open road again, making good time and listening to the suspenseful conclusion of Nelson Demille’s Wild Fire, the book on tape we’ve been listening to for the last however miles. If you want to read this book at some point, I’m giving you a spoiler alert. Here’s the plot: a guy wants to nuke American cities, therefore trigging an America nuclear response which would wipe out all of the Middle East. Our hero, an ex NYPD detective John Cory and his wife/partner Kate Mayfield of the FBI are on a mission to stop him. This has got us thinking lately. Not about American foreign policy or the horrors of war, but about various characters we’d like to see play the role of a gritty New York detective in a film noir. Two of our favorites so far have been a hard core gamer and a rapper from East LA.
Brian: It would be an interesting juxtaposition to say the least. The first thing we did after crossing the border into Tennessee was to score some delicious barbeque. We stopped at a place called B’s in a town called Monteagle. Later we were informed that B’s was a famous place that recently experienced a turnover in management, so locals were unsure of its continued deliciousness. I’ll be the first to vouch for it.
Nick: I’ll second that. We knew we were getting close to Nashville when we heard, yeah get excited, Party in the USA a full three times before bringing the vehicle to a complete stop. I’m not sure what a Nashville party is like, but Miley seems frustrated that more parties aren’t like them so I think we have a lot to look forward to in this town. On that note, Brian and I have begun formulating a system for determining a city’s greatness. So far, we have the number of Arby’s within the city limits, the number of times the DJ plays our favorite song on the radio while we’re in that city, and the city’s zombie preparedness, which is itself determined by a number of factors. Though it’s an early cursory assessment, Nashville is dominating on all three counts, with special bonus points for having a 24-hour Arby’s.
Brian: Kill me now. On the recommendation of our next host, we made our way to the Nashville farmer’s market with a single directive: Do not eat the Chinese food. It made me want to, but in the end I resisted. The most noteworthy items for sale at the farmer’s market were these ridiculous but awesome posters of people clearly preparing to make love. As an added bonus, the area of the park not filled with market stalls was filled a progressive reenactment of every American war. What I mean is, as you walk down the path you begin in a Revolutionary War camp and end up in surrounded by WWII soldiers and vehicles. It was pretty cool. We left the park to meet up with the sweet Hannah Messinger, our host for the next couple of days.
Nick: Hannah is someone we met during a game of ultimate Frisbee back in college, and was therefore associated in our minds with all things excellent. Also, she has a blog where she tracks down the coolest, cheapest stuff to do in and around Nashville, so we figured we’d met up with the right person for our stay. After arriving at her downtown apartment and meeting her rambunctious but lovable little dog, we headed out to Centennial Park to walk around, check out the city’s replica Parthenon, and do some swinging on one of many park swings. Brian says that no matter how fast you swing on the swing, the time it takes you to go back and forth never changes. I’m not sure, but I don’t have the math credentials to challenge that assertion.
Brian: It’s just simple physics… that I’m fully incapable of explaining. But it’s true, every swing of a pendulum takes the same amount of time no matter how much energy is behind it. Think about Newton’s Cradles (the office toy that is 5 suspended silver balls). No matter how high you lift a ball the clicking always has the same number of beats per minute. Speaking of BPM, we got our drink and dance on at a little place called 3 Crow Bar. I wonder if they were going with some sort of “crowbar” pun? Fail. My friend Zach Fleury showed up and we went to another bar. I don’t remember the name of that one but I do remember the tetragenarian that wanted our bodies real bad.
Nick: We get people’s attention on this trip. Not all attention is ideal. After we were sufficiently liquored up, Hannah’s friend Sarah, who happens to be a musician and pretty cool chick herself, took us through a McDonald’s on the way home. Which was nice. Back at the apartment, we watched some way old Star Trek, which was the first time I’d ever seen an episode of the show. Half way through, after Spock drops a rock that violently explodes destroying one of the crew, I looked around the room to see if anyone else was enjoying the sci-fi insanity as much as me. Hannah and Brian were asleep. Their loss I guess. Beam us up, Nick and Brian out.
Nick: Mmhmm. Also, I’m grossed out now thinking about Kelly Rippa’s outtie. Thanks. So after some coffee and bagel action we were on the open road again, making good time and listening to the suspenseful conclusion of Nelson Demille’s Wild Fire, the book on tape we’ve been listening to for the last however miles. If you want to read this book at some point, I’m giving you a spoiler alert. Here’s the plot: a guy wants to nuke American cities, therefore trigging an America nuclear response which would wipe out all of the Middle East. Our hero, an ex NYPD detective John Cory and his wife/partner Kate Mayfield of the FBI are on a mission to stop him. This has got us thinking lately. Not about American foreign policy or the horrors of war, but about various characters we’d like to see play the role of a gritty New York detective in a film noir. Two of our favorites so far have been a hard core gamer and a rapper from East LA.
Brian: It would be an interesting juxtaposition to say the least. The first thing we did after crossing the border into Tennessee was to score some delicious barbeque. We stopped at a place called B’s in a town called Monteagle. Later we were informed that B’s was a famous place that recently experienced a turnover in management, so locals were unsure of its continued deliciousness. I’ll be the first to vouch for it.
Nick: I’ll second that. We knew we were getting close to Nashville when we heard, yeah get excited, Party in the USA a full three times before bringing the vehicle to a complete stop. I’m not sure what a Nashville party is like, but Miley seems frustrated that more parties aren’t like them so I think we have a lot to look forward to in this town. On that note, Brian and I have begun formulating a system for determining a city’s greatness. So far, we have the number of Arby’s within the city limits, the number of times the DJ plays our favorite song on the radio while we’re in that city, and the city’s zombie preparedness, which is itself determined by a number of factors. Though it’s an early cursory assessment, Nashville is dominating on all three counts, with special bonus points for having a 24-hour Arby’s.
Brian: Kill me now. On the recommendation of our next host, we made our way to the Nashville farmer’s market with a single directive: Do not eat the Chinese food. It made me want to, but in the end I resisted. The most noteworthy items for sale at the farmer’s market were these ridiculous but awesome posters of people clearly preparing to make love. As an added bonus, the area of the park not filled with market stalls was filled a progressive reenactment of every American war. What I mean is, as you walk down the path you begin in a Revolutionary War camp and end up in surrounded by WWII soldiers and vehicles. It was pretty cool. We left the park to meet up with the sweet Hannah Messinger, our host for the next couple of days.
Nick: Hannah is someone we met during a game of ultimate Frisbee back in college, and was therefore associated in our minds with all things excellent. Also, she has a blog where she tracks down the coolest, cheapest stuff to do in and around Nashville, so we figured we’d met up with the right person for our stay. After arriving at her downtown apartment and meeting her rambunctious but lovable little dog, we headed out to Centennial Park to walk around, check out the city’s replica Parthenon, and do some swinging on one of many park swings. Brian says that no matter how fast you swing on the swing, the time it takes you to go back and forth never changes. I’m not sure, but I don’t have the math credentials to challenge that assertion.
Brian: It’s just simple physics… that I’m fully incapable of explaining. But it’s true, every swing of a pendulum takes the same amount of time no matter how much energy is behind it. Think about Newton’s Cradles (the office toy that is 5 suspended silver balls). No matter how high you lift a ball the clicking always has the same number of beats per minute. Speaking of BPM, we got our drink and dance on at a little place called 3 Crow Bar. I wonder if they were going with some sort of “crowbar” pun? Fail. My friend Zach Fleury showed up and we went to another bar. I don’t remember the name of that one but I do remember the tetragenarian that wanted our bodies real bad.
Nick: We get people’s attention on this trip. Not all attention is ideal. After we were sufficiently liquored up, Hannah’s friend Sarah, who happens to be a musician and pretty cool chick herself, took us through a McDonald’s on the way home. Which was nice. Back at the apartment, we watched some way old Star Trek, which was the first time I’d ever seen an episode of the show. Half way through, after Spock drops a rock that violently explodes destroying one of the crew, I looked around the room to see if anyone else was enjoying the sci-fi insanity as much as me. Hannah and Brian were asleep. Their loss I guess. Beam us up, Nick and Brian out.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Atlanta, GA Day 1
Brian: Ouch, my head. What a better way to spend a hangover than walking around looking at soon-to-be sushi. I’m not kidding, there were like 4 or 5 seafood restaurants surrounding the Atlanta Aquarium. I think that’s a dangerous game. It wouldn’t be very good for the general morale of the fish if they knew what was happening to their brothers not 100 yards down the road. The lady at the front desk talked us into buying the slightly pricier tickets for the limited-time only shark exhibit.
Nick: At that point, I’d nearly resigned myself to believing I’d never be back to this city, so why not take in as much as possible? Sharks are cool, we like sharks, let’s do this thing. On the subject of sharks, have y’all (that’s right) ever seen a whale shark? Up close? Whoa dang, that’s a big fish. The Georgia Aquarium (it’s in Atlanta but that’s not in the name) has six of these things in a huge tank that has a glass tube you can walk through. Some of them are like…. 20, 25 feet long? Question: How many square inches of whale shark sushi could one cover with the meat from one whale shark? And just how much square surface area is available on an average supermodel in the supine position? If you’re wondering, I’m trying to figure out if opening a sushi restaurant with supermodels as plates could be competitive by purchasing raw materials in bulk. Something to think about. We also looked at sea otters, which multiple individuals in my life have attributed to be my cosmic animal soul twin. I don’t know about all that, but they’re fun to look at. It went quick, but the aquarium was pretty cool.
Brian: Overall, it was a unique experience. Actually, not overall. Atlanta Aquarium is guilty of plagiarism in the 1st degree when it comes to their 4D children’s entertainment experience, titled Deepo’s 3D Wondershow. Let’s start with 4D. Nobody in the establishment was able to explain what 4D meant, or what the 4th D(imension) was. The only answer we could get, and believe me we asked several employees, was that Deepo is a 3D movie in a 4D theatre.
Nick: Also: why did the woman, who couldn’t have been much older than us, recommend we pick up tickets to this show which was, upon further investigation, clearly for children? Do we look childish? Act childish? I think not, and I take offense.
Brian: Twilight Zone always told me the 4th dimension was time. I’ve also always been told that time equals money. Well I guess 4D theatres make sense, because after you go in, you come out 20 minutes in the future and $5.00 poorer.
Nick: Zing!
Brian: Also, check out the pictures and tell me that Deepo is not a Finding Nemo copy. Like, what the hell? They are asking for a lawsuit.
Nick: So anyway, we do the whole aquarium and decide to end with the much more adult themed shark show thing. Well guess what, the thing broke down so we’d have to wait a full hour and a half to see the next show. No thanks. But when we went to get our tickets refunded, it was this whole big thing, and the woman wouldn’t do it at first, then it took forever, and it just… it left a bad taste in the mouth. That’s OK though, you know? During our travels, we’ve found the best, most wonderfully refreshing drink to cleanse anything bad from our road trip pallet. It was the quest for this most delectable of beverages that lead us to our next destination.
Brian: The Coca-Cola Museum, right across from the aquarium! Certainly since Coke is now the proud owner of Moxie, it would be a sure thing to find a can or bottle in the gift shop. But alas, if there’s anything we should have learned from our first Moxie experience, it’s to not expect Moxie where it should be (recall that the official Moxie museum only had a single cob-webbed can available). I was especially misled by the statue of the inventor of Coke, who looks like a Moxie man himself, and whom I shared a beverage with, see picture. We left the gift shop depressed and empty, and went to a bar named The Righteous Room to meet our next Couchsurfing host: Erin.
Nick: Erin is notable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that she has been the first person on Couchsurfing to bring a friend to the initial meeting. It just seems like something that’d be standard couchsurfing procedure to bring a friend to make sure we aren’t crazy psychos hopped up on gallons of radioactive Moxie.
Brian: Speaking of hopped up, we met a guy named Charlie at the bar who insisted on buying our table a round of drinks. He literally just walked right up to me and started talking to me. For some reason when people do that all I want to do is lie to them. So I told Charlie that Nick and I were traveling salesman going door-to-door selling coconut catching nets (Coconets). I sold it so well that even Erin fully bought it. I told her later that it was a lie, and if I was in her position I wouldn’t let someone who could lie with such ease stay at my house. But…
Nick: …I guess we checked out, because after a nice evening of talking, drinking a little, and catching up on The Office, Erin and her friend Xander left us to our own devices. In their house. Like, they went someplace else to sleep.
Brian: Well, the cat was there.
Nick: Ah yes. The cat. So… I usually don’t like cats. Actually, I despise most cats. Also, I’m pretty dang allergic to them in general, so even cats I might be apathetic about cause me all kinds of problems, and that of course makes it very easy to despise them too. On the subject, I’m more allergic to some than others. Turns out, this cat gave me the worst reaction ever. Like, could hardly breath reaction. Which is, as you can imagine, distressing enough. This particular feline decided to up the ante however by being completely nuts. For example, when I reached down into my bag to fetch the laptop, it thought that bounding across the room and sinking its vicious cat fangs into my wrist would be a hospitable thing to do. Have I mentioned that I despise cats? Anyway, the second Erin left, Brian was nice enough to help me corral the damn thing into the bathroom where I hope it spent a very long, lonely evening thinking about what it had done.
Brian: I didn’t like it either. It meowed the whole time it was in there, even though I brought it food and water. I didn’t even shove it under the door, which is better treatment than many human prisoners receive. Well after it was gone things got a little better and we went to sleep after catching up on some TV shows. Next stop, Nashville. We are outie like Kelly Rippa.
Nick: At that point, I’d nearly resigned myself to believing I’d never be back to this city, so why not take in as much as possible? Sharks are cool, we like sharks, let’s do this thing. On the subject of sharks, have y’all (that’s right) ever seen a whale shark? Up close? Whoa dang, that’s a big fish. The Georgia Aquarium (it’s in Atlanta but that’s not in the name) has six of these things in a huge tank that has a glass tube you can walk through. Some of them are like…. 20, 25 feet long? Question: How many square inches of whale shark sushi could one cover with the meat from one whale shark? And just how much square surface area is available on an average supermodel in the supine position? If you’re wondering, I’m trying to figure out if opening a sushi restaurant with supermodels as plates could be competitive by purchasing raw materials in bulk. Something to think about. We also looked at sea otters, which multiple individuals in my life have attributed to be my cosmic animal soul twin. I don’t know about all that, but they’re fun to look at. It went quick, but the aquarium was pretty cool.
Brian: Overall, it was a unique experience. Actually, not overall. Atlanta Aquarium is guilty of plagiarism in the 1st degree when it comes to their 4D children’s entertainment experience, titled Deepo’s 3D Wondershow. Let’s start with 4D. Nobody in the establishment was able to explain what 4D meant, or what the 4th D(imension) was. The only answer we could get, and believe me we asked several employees, was that Deepo is a 3D movie in a 4D theatre.
Nick: Also: why did the woman, who couldn’t have been much older than us, recommend we pick up tickets to this show which was, upon further investigation, clearly for children? Do we look childish? Act childish? I think not, and I take offense.
Brian: Twilight Zone always told me the 4th dimension was time. I’ve also always been told that time equals money. Well I guess 4D theatres make sense, because after you go in, you come out 20 minutes in the future and $5.00 poorer.
Nick: Zing!
Brian: Also, check out the pictures and tell me that Deepo is not a Finding Nemo copy. Like, what the hell? They are asking for a lawsuit.
Nick: So anyway, we do the whole aquarium and decide to end with the much more adult themed shark show thing. Well guess what, the thing broke down so we’d have to wait a full hour and a half to see the next show. No thanks. But when we went to get our tickets refunded, it was this whole big thing, and the woman wouldn’t do it at first, then it took forever, and it just… it left a bad taste in the mouth. That’s OK though, you know? During our travels, we’ve found the best, most wonderfully refreshing drink to cleanse anything bad from our road trip pallet. It was the quest for this most delectable of beverages that lead us to our next destination.
Brian: The Coca-Cola Museum, right across from the aquarium! Certainly since Coke is now the proud owner of Moxie, it would be a sure thing to find a can or bottle in the gift shop. But alas, if there’s anything we should have learned from our first Moxie experience, it’s to not expect Moxie where it should be (recall that the official Moxie museum only had a single cob-webbed can available). I was especially misled by the statue of the inventor of Coke, who looks like a Moxie man himself, and whom I shared a beverage with, see picture. We left the gift shop depressed and empty, and went to a bar named The Righteous Room to meet our next Couchsurfing host: Erin.
Nick: Erin is notable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that she has been the first person on Couchsurfing to bring a friend to the initial meeting. It just seems like something that’d be standard couchsurfing procedure to bring a friend to make sure we aren’t crazy psychos hopped up on gallons of radioactive Moxie.
Brian: Speaking of hopped up, we met a guy named Charlie at the bar who insisted on buying our table a round of drinks. He literally just walked right up to me and started talking to me. For some reason when people do that all I want to do is lie to them. So I told Charlie that Nick and I were traveling salesman going door-to-door selling coconut catching nets (Coconets). I sold it so well that even Erin fully bought it. I told her later that it was a lie, and if I was in her position I wouldn’t let someone who could lie with such ease stay at my house. But…
Nick: …I guess we checked out, because after a nice evening of talking, drinking a little, and catching up on The Office, Erin and her friend Xander left us to our own devices. In their house. Like, they went someplace else to sleep.
Brian: Well, the cat was there.
Nick: Ah yes. The cat. So… I usually don’t like cats. Actually, I despise most cats. Also, I’m pretty dang allergic to them in general, so even cats I might be apathetic about cause me all kinds of problems, and that of course makes it very easy to despise them too. On the subject, I’m more allergic to some than others. Turns out, this cat gave me the worst reaction ever. Like, could hardly breath reaction. Which is, as you can imagine, distressing enough. This particular feline decided to up the ante however by being completely nuts. For example, when I reached down into my bag to fetch the laptop, it thought that bounding across the room and sinking its vicious cat fangs into my wrist would be a hospitable thing to do. Have I mentioned that I despise cats? Anyway, the second Erin left, Brian was nice enough to help me corral the damn thing into the bathroom where I hope it spent a very long, lonely evening thinking about what it had done.
Brian: I didn’t like it either. It meowed the whole time it was in there, even though I brought it food and water. I didn’t even shove it under the door, which is better treatment than many human prisoners receive. Well after it was gone things got a little better and we went to sleep after catching up on some TV shows. Next stop, Nashville. We are outie like Kelly Rippa.
Sylva, NC through Atlanta, GA
Brian: Oh, it’s so nice to be in a clean Lucy. We vacuumed her out completely and got rid of all the trash before setting out for our next destination, which as was revealed in the end of the last post, is Atlanta. I know Nick and I promised not to go to the south, but I’ve heard good things about the city and western North Carolina is only about two hours away. In terms of a cross-country road trip that’s only a quick skip, so why not? Plus, we sent out a bunch of Couchsurfing requests and got a lot of promising responses. Finally, Atlanta has the nations largest aquarium so that’s definitely on the to-do list.
Nick: Fish are friends. The first order of business in Atlanta was to meet up with Katherine at her apartment, a fellow couch surfer and vegetarian extraordinaire. After a dinner of eggplant and sweet potatoes over rice, we hit the town. First stop: a place called Star Bar featuring a live band, cheap beer and no cover. The band, Katherine explained, was categorized as “Rockabilly” which I wasn’t especially familiar with. Take a 50’s Do-Op band, throw in gram of grunge, a pinch of punk, and a general assortment of tattoos and piercings and you’ve got Rockabilly. The band played their set, then we headed to the next location, which was a coffee shop that just so happened to have a liquor license.
Brian: It ended up being a pretty rock n’ roll night because the defining attribute of the coffee shop/bar was a giant projector screen with Rock Band on it. I grabbed a guitar and unabashedly played rhythm and sang harmony to Ballroom Blitz, which is my specialty. In keeping with the theme of the night, I handed my plastic guitar to my fake roadie, who was really just the next guy on the list, and headed out for a smoke out front. The second I stepped outside, about 10 cops pulled up… and ordered coffee. We bounced out of there and headed for our last stop of the night, which was Katherine’s friends’ house. I played real drums there, but that was probably the last rockin’ thing that happened that night.
Nick: It’s unrealistic for us to be expected to rock all night, especially if we’ve already partied every day. On that note, we headed home and watched a few episodes of “Curb your Enthusiasm,” which is honestly not my favorite. Seinfield is also not my favorite though, and those shows are supposed to be similar. I don’t get it. That about does it for the first day in Hot-lanta. So far, I’ve had a nice time, but my earlier prejudices still haven’t been dispelled. Traffic was a nightmare. Brian and Nick O-U-T
Nick: Fish are friends. The first order of business in Atlanta was to meet up with Katherine at her apartment, a fellow couch surfer and vegetarian extraordinaire. After a dinner of eggplant and sweet potatoes over rice, we hit the town. First stop: a place called Star Bar featuring a live band, cheap beer and no cover. The band, Katherine explained, was categorized as “Rockabilly” which I wasn’t especially familiar with. Take a 50’s Do-Op band, throw in gram of grunge, a pinch of punk, and a general assortment of tattoos and piercings and you’ve got Rockabilly. The band played their set, then we headed to the next location, which was a coffee shop that just so happened to have a liquor license.
Brian: It ended up being a pretty rock n’ roll night because the defining attribute of the coffee shop/bar was a giant projector screen with Rock Band on it. I grabbed a guitar and unabashedly played rhythm and sang harmony to Ballroom Blitz, which is my specialty. In keeping with the theme of the night, I handed my plastic guitar to my fake roadie, who was really just the next guy on the list, and headed out for a smoke out front. The second I stepped outside, about 10 cops pulled up… and ordered coffee. We bounced out of there and headed for our last stop of the night, which was Katherine’s friends’ house. I played real drums there, but that was probably the last rockin’ thing that happened that night.
Nick: It’s unrealistic for us to be expected to rock all night, especially if we’ve already partied every day. On that note, we headed home and watched a few episodes of “Curb your Enthusiasm,” which is honestly not my favorite. Seinfield is also not my favorite though, and those shows are supposed to be similar. I don’t get it. That about does it for the first day in Hot-lanta. So far, I’ve had a nice time, but my earlier prejudices still haven’t been dispelled. Traffic was a nightmare. Brian and Nick O-U-T
Greensboro, NC through Sylva, NC
Brian: We are going to consolidate our time at the Balsam Mountain Lodge to a single post. It’s because we spent a lot of time relaxing and recollecting ourselves, NOT because we are way behind on the blog and need to catch up. That’s definitely not the reason. Anyway, the morning we left for Balsam we woke up in Greensboro. In a house. By ourselves. Couchsurfers are crazy trusting. Someday I’m going to wake up in an ice bath.
Nick: Brisk. We can’t be too sure of the chronology of the following events, but they were all pretty excellent and therefore worth mentioning. I’d like to take this opportunity to brag for Brian about what a killer shot he is. Back story: I’ve been shooting things for a long time. BB guns, paintball, rifles, shotguns, etc. You name it. I’m not a bad shot. (Usually) Brian has never shot a real gun before, and since we were in the mountains and since local mountain legend Raymond Bunz of Bunz Gunz was available to host us on his range, I figured it was a great time to expose Mr. Pinto to the wonders of firing dangerous weapons at pieces of paper. Though initially hesitant, the kid took to firearms like a hillbilly with a socialist black president.
Brian: Durn tootin’. We brought a 9mm and a 22 rifle, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I was going to enjoy shooting as much as I did. Another customer showed up about halfway through our session with an AR-15, and we were allowed to squeeze off a few rounds. Boom. Also, I couldn’t resist turning the handgun sideways, shouting, “Check yo’self, fool,” and unloading the sidearm as fast as I could pull the trigger. McLovin bailed!
Nick: Good one. Another blog worthy outing was our trip to a place called Max Patch, as recommended by some local family friends. To fill you in, Max Patch is basically a mountaintop that, for reasons that defy scientific thought and reason, is completely bare of all vegetation other than some scrubby grass. The place was definitely cool, but the trip there is perhaps more interesting. Check it out: The directions we had to this place were a bit shaky because we couldn’t really find an address online. Thus, when we came to a fork in the road, we opted for a route that soon became perilous for any vehicle that didn’t happen to be a monster truck.
Brian: We were in an Audi SUV and we were navigating what was literally the most ill-kept, treacherous road that I have ever ridden on, including some illegal off-roading I did in high school. There was no possible way for us to turn around, and after the first couple of drop-offs it was certain we could not travel in reverse. Nick’s mom thought we were going to die in the woods. Nick was making contingency plans should we have to leave the car and finish the journey on foot.
Nick: The sun rises in the west, right?
Brian: I attempted to allay my PBMS (Phantom Banjo Music Syndrome) by singing a rousing chorus of Bohemian Rhapsody. There were times we literally had to get out of the car and scout the best path over the rocky forest path. Also, we forded several creeks (losing no oxen). We came out of the “road” near a highway, where four hunters, clearly locals, pointed us in the correct direction. We nervously laughed and drove away. But yeah, Max Patch was awesome.
Nick: Photos to follow. Later that night, we had rib dinner with the neighbors that had suggested the trip to Max Patch. That might have created some animosity, but as it turns out they’re both professional chefs so dinner was, well, similar in deliciousness to the combination of Mr. Pibb and Red Vines. Yeah. Dinner also included copious amounts of high quality scotch, wine and sipping rum. After dinner also had those things. It was a good night.
Brian: Not to mention a lesson in the consumption of fine cigars, courtesy of Nick’s father and his neighbor, complimentary Monte Cristos included. The rest of the stay was pretty casual. Relaxing afternoon hot tub sessions, billiards in the evening, delicious breakfasts. Oh, and a gentleman at the shooting range relayed the story of him and his wife’s abduction, probing, and subsequent pregnancy (it is believed the alien somehow “implanted” the child). Apparently, the child was so controversial that the couple ended up getting divorced. How many puns can we drop on that? Good luck getting alienmony. Put on some Marvin Gaye the Martian. Unidentified Fornication Object.
Nick: Star Trek: The Next Penetration.
Brian: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Grope.
Nick: O.K., that’s probably enough. For now. In summation, North Carolina was a great break in the action in that while we usually drink, recover, drive, being stationary for a few days allowed us to drink, recover, then skip the driving step altogether and head right back into drinking. Also, it was pretty, so I guess the nature part was alright too. We have plans to hit up Atlanta next. I’ve never had any affection for the city that I find to be too spread out, dirty, and disorganized but I guess I can give it another chance. We’ll see how it goes. Until next time, Br-i-ck out.
Nick: Brisk. We can’t be too sure of the chronology of the following events, but they were all pretty excellent and therefore worth mentioning. I’d like to take this opportunity to brag for Brian about what a killer shot he is. Back story: I’ve been shooting things for a long time. BB guns, paintball, rifles, shotguns, etc. You name it. I’m not a bad shot. (Usually) Brian has never shot a real gun before, and since we were in the mountains and since local mountain legend Raymond Bunz of Bunz Gunz was available to host us on his range, I figured it was a great time to expose Mr. Pinto to the wonders of firing dangerous weapons at pieces of paper. Though initially hesitant, the kid took to firearms like a hillbilly with a socialist black president.
Brian: Durn tootin’. We brought a 9mm and a 22 rifle, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I was going to enjoy shooting as much as I did. Another customer showed up about halfway through our session with an AR-15, and we were allowed to squeeze off a few rounds. Boom. Also, I couldn’t resist turning the handgun sideways, shouting, “Check yo’self, fool,” and unloading the sidearm as fast as I could pull the trigger. McLovin bailed!
Nick: Good one. Another blog worthy outing was our trip to a place called Max Patch, as recommended by some local family friends. To fill you in, Max Patch is basically a mountaintop that, for reasons that defy scientific thought and reason, is completely bare of all vegetation other than some scrubby grass. The place was definitely cool, but the trip there is perhaps more interesting. Check it out: The directions we had to this place were a bit shaky because we couldn’t really find an address online. Thus, when we came to a fork in the road, we opted for a route that soon became perilous for any vehicle that didn’t happen to be a monster truck.
Brian: We were in an Audi SUV and we were navigating what was literally the most ill-kept, treacherous road that I have ever ridden on, including some illegal off-roading I did in high school. There was no possible way for us to turn around, and after the first couple of drop-offs it was certain we could not travel in reverse. Nick’s mom thought we were going to die in the woods. Nick was making contingency plans should we have to leave the car and finish the journey on foot.
Nick: The sun rises in the west, right?
Brian: I attempted to allay my PBMS (Phantom Banjo Music Syndrome) by singing a rousing chorus of Bohemian Rhapsody. There were times we literally had to get out of the car and scout the best path over the rocky forest path. Also, we forded several creeks (losing no oxen). We came out of the “road” near a highway, where four hunters, clearly locals, pointed us in the correct direction. We nervously laughed and drove away. But yeah, Max Patch was awesome.
Nick: Photos to follow. Later that night, we had rib dinner with the neighbors that had suggested the trip to Max Patch. That might have created some animosity, but as it turns out they’re both professional chefs so dinner was, well, similar in deliciousness to the combination of Mr. Pibb and Red Vines. Yeah. Dinner also included copious amounts of high quality scotch, wine and sipping rum. After dinner also had those things. It was a good night.
Brian: Not to mention a lesson in the consumption of fine cigars, courtesy of Nick’s father and his neighbor, complimentary Monte Cristos included. The rest of the stay was pretty casual. Relaxing afternoon hot tub sessions, billiards in the evening, delicious breakfasts. Oh, and a gentleman at the shooting range relayed the story of him and his wife’s abduction, probing, and subsequent pregnancy (it is believed the alien somehow “implanted” the child). Apparently, the child was so controversial that the couple ended up getting divorced. How many puns can we drop on that? Good luck getting alienmony. Put on some Marvin Gaye the Martian. Unidentified Fornication Object.
Nick: Star Trek: The Next Penetration.
Brian: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Grope.
Nick: O.K., that’s probably enough. For now. In summation, North Carolina was a great break in the action in that while we usually drink, recover, drive, being stationary for a few days allowed us to drink, recover, then skip the driving step altogether and head right back into drinking. Also, it was pretty, so I guess the nature part was alright too. We have plans to hit up Atlanta next. I’ve never had any affection for the city that I find to be too spread out, dirty, and disorganized but I guess I can give it another chance. We’ll see how it goes. Until next time, Br-i-ck out.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Durham, NC through Greensboro, NC
Nick: What to do first thing in the morning after a night of doing what we do best? I don’t know, maybe watch one of the greatest modern films of our time? That sounds good huh? We thought so too, which is why Talladega Nights was what played all morning as we slowly woke up. It gets better every time I see it.
Brian: Unfortunately that film is perhaps the peak of Will Ferrell’s career. It was nice to take a slow morning. I shaved my beard. We left Durham a little past noon and headed for Greensboro, which was our last stop before Nick’s ‘rents. Our Couchsurfing contact there was a girl named Kristen, and she said that we could go with her that night to a non-sequitur party. Wait, what’s a non-sequitur party?
Nick: Pasta Batman. That was her hedgehog’s name. When we first got there, we went to Natty Greene’s which was a local bar/restaurant type of a deal. They had good local beer. Superb turkey sandwiches. And I should know.
Brian: They also clearly had a rigorous hiring process. The waitresses were all gorgeous brunettes with perfect bodies. Hotter than the chili.
Nick: On the way back to the car from the restaurant was a poorly sculpted/painted bust of the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with what came off as sort of a menacing plaque. The engraving declared that Dr. King had decided not to give his speech in Greensboro as planned, but rather stay an extra day in Memphis where he was promptly assassinated. Wow, Greensboro. Is that a threat? Are you implying that bad things happen to people that don’t come to your city as planned? We don’t care for that sort of bullying, and we won’t stand for it. We’ll go where we want, when we want. But, I guess there’s no harm in staying one night… Just to be safe…
Brian: Great call. We went back to Kristen’s and learned a dice-based game called Zilch from her friend Cameron, whose varied interests included pen-and-paper gaming, and screaming in a heavy metal band. We all got along well. Nick barely scraped out a win. Actually, it was pretty epic. I fired up somebody’s Xbox and poured myself a glass of SoCo, retiring my brain for the evening. It was at this point that Kristen required that we only drink out of crazy straws, like she was doing with her water. Oh wait, that’s not water, it’s blueberry vodka. What’s a non-sequitur party?
Nick: So the car fresheners we were wearing got to be VERY pungent when worn as necklaces. But we had fun at the party. When things slowed down a bit, Brian and I led all our new friends in rousing game of “Do You Worship Cthulhu?” which was of course excellent. The group was pretty decent actually: you could tell they’d spend time in summer camps before. After a less than successful game of Psychiatrist, it was time to pack it up and head back to the ranch. We stayed in the room of Kristen’s friend, and at some point during the night, perhaps for hours on end, we were alone in the house. The trust and generosity of the people we meet on this trip never ceases to amaze me.
Brian: Truth. Also by random chance about half of the people we’ve met on Couchsurfing have never hosted before. You could say that we are traveling the country stealing Couchsurfing virginity. Thanks for reading! Tomorrow takes us to Balsam Mountain. Nick and Brian powers, activate! Form of… blog!
Brian: Unfortunately that film is perhaps the peak of Will Ferrell’s career. It was nice to take a slow morning. I shaved my beard. We left Durham a little past noon and headed for Greensboro, which was our last stop before Nick’s ‘rents. Our Couchsurfing contact there was a girl named Kristen, and she said that we could go with her that night to a non-sequitur party. Wait, what’s a non-sequitur party?
Nick: Pasta Batman. That was her hedgehog’s name. When we first got there, we went to Natty Greene’s which was a local bar/restaurant type of a deal. They had good local beer. Superb turkey sandwiches. And I should know.
Brian: They also clearly had a rigorous hiring process. The waitresses were all gorgeous brunettes with perfect bodies. Hotter than the chili.
Nick: On the way back to the car from the restaurant was a poorly sculpted/painted bust of the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with what came off as sort of a menacing plaque. The engraving declared that Dr. King had decided not to give his speech in Greensboro as planned, but rather stay an extra day in Memphis where he was promptly assassinated. Wow, Greensboro. Is that a threat? Are you implying that bad things happen to people that don’t come to your city as planned? We don’t care for that sort of bullying, and we won’t stand for it. We’ll go where we want, when we want. But, I guess there’s no harm in staying one night… Just to be safe…
Brian: Great call. We went back to Kristen’s and learned a dice-based game called Zilch from her friend Cameron, whose varied interests included pen-and-paper gaming, and screaming in a heavy metal band. We all got along well. Nick barely scraped out a win. Actually, it was pretty epic. I fired up somebody’s Xbox and poured myself a glass of SoCo, retiring my brain for the evening. It was at this point that Kristen required that we only drink out of crazy straws, like she was doing with her water. Oh wait, that’s not water, it’s blueberry vodka. What’s a non-sequitur party?
Nick: So the car fresheners we were wearing got to be VERY pungent when worn as necklaces. But we had fun at the party. When things slowed down a bit, Brian and I led all our new friends in rousing game of “Do You Worship Cthulhu?” which was of course excellent. The group was pretty decent actually: you could tell they’d spend time in summer camps before. After a less than successful game of Psychiatrist, it was time to pack it up and head back to the ranch. We stayed in the room of Kristen’s friend, and at some point during the night, perhaps for hours on end, we were alone in the house. The trust and generosity of the people we meet on this trip never ceases to amaze me.
Brian: Truth. Also by random chance about half of the people we’ve met on Couchsurfing have never hosted before. You could say that we are traveling the country stealing Couchsurfing virginity. Thanks for reading! Tomorrow takes us to Balsam Mountain. Nick and Brian powers, activate! Form of… blog!
Wilmington, NC through Durham, NC
Brian: I don’t feel very good this morning, and for once it isn’t related to drinking. Well maybe indirectly it is. My immune system has been operating under extremely oppressive conditions for upward of a month, so combine that with sleeping on 30 couches in as many days and frankly it’s a miracle that all I have is a slight cold. Luckily we are quickly approaching Nick’s parents house on Balsam mountain, where I should be able to beat this thing with some fresh air and serious R & R.
Nick: But not yet. Later that day, we headed into a swanky part of town outside Durham, NC in search of a swanky coffee shop. We were not disappointed and in fact enjoyed the place so much we made an afternoon of reading, gaming, and of course blogging. When Jason and his girlfriend Jess were free, we headed to their place for some grub, drink’n and card playing.
Brian: Let’s start with grub. Have you ever heard of Cook Out? It is a wonderful place where one can purchase a burger, 2 sides (pick between corndog, baked beans, slaw, fries, and onion rings) and about a gallon of soda for less than 5 bucks. I followed Jason’s lead and selected Cheerwine as my beverage, which is a local soda that has the flavor and consistency of cherry snow cone syrup. Even with my rigorous junk food training regiment I couldn’t really stomach the stuff.
Nick: I went with a chicken sandwich based on the fact that its name was something like “The Super Deluxe Grandslam Spicy Chicken Sandwich Combo Meal.”
Brian: It had the word “cheesy” in there somewhere.
Nick: Sounds exciting right? Nah. Piece of fried chicken and a bun. There may have been mayo. I was so disappointed when the thing didn’t actually have flashing lights and sound effects I didn’t pay much attention to the consumption portion of the experience. Now for the drink’n: Jason and I have a long and wonderful history with Rolling Rock. It’s the first beer that ever got me drunk, and is responsible for a number of inspirational quotes, most notably my desire to simply “Pour it on my brain.” Thus, we rolled up to the local Kroger looking to continue our illustrious tradition. PBR was cheaper. We bought PBR. Which was fine. Mmm… PBR…
Brian: You don’t pick out PBR. PBR picks you. And that brings us to the card playing. We started out with a game called Euchre, which is popular in the Midwest. It’s a simple game, but enjoyable because of the crazy superstitions you have to follow when you play it. Such as plucking an invisible chicken if you are close to victory. Must be a Midwest thing…
Nick: I grow Very trying to explain, justify, and defend the procedures for Euchre. It’s for every non-believer’s own good that I try to teach them the proper ways to do things. At this point, I’m just going to let them loose in a great flaming wreck of failure. Milk the cow, or be prepared to suffer the consequences. After a few rounds…
Brian: …double entendre…
Nick: …we all piled into Jess’s car and she (she was sober people, relax) drove us to a local bar that I think used to be a shoe factory. Jason rocked some Long Island Ice Teas, which are not my personal favorite, and we dominated at pool. No surprise, I know. Eventually I worked my way into some random people’s foosball game. I would like to take this moment to thank the women in my life that really helped me perfect my foosball skills over the years, skills that allow me to utterly crush anyone stupid enough to challenge my authority.
Brian: Easy big guy. The highlight of the pool bar for me was watching a hillbilly Santa totally shank a shot, rendering the typically harmless cue ball airborne. It sailed about 20 ft through the air, and I laughed my ass off. Maybe you had to be there. We headed back to Jess’ place and I passed out on a section of couch.
Nick: Brian, despite passing out right next to a blanket and a pillow, had forgone both of these items in the interest of immediate slumber. When I, good friend that I am, tried to wedge a pillow under his head, Brian shot up and gruffly asked me what I was doing. I literally had to talk him into laying down again, so great was his suspicion. Talk about paranoid. It’s not like I’m going to pull a killer prank on him at some point in the night as a retaliation for early wrong-doings on his part on this trip. I’d never do something like that. Anyway, that just about does it for whatever day we’re on. We’ll try to sort out the chronology out when we post this puppy. Take it easy, readers. Nick and Brian out.
Nick: But not yet. Later that day, we headed into a swanky part of town outside Durham, NC in search of a swanky coffee shop. We were not disappointed and in fact enjoyed the place so much we made an afternoon of reading, gaming, and of course blogging. When Jason and his girlfriend Jess were free, we headed to their place for some grub, drink’n and card playing.
Brian: Let’s start with grub. Have you ever heard of Cook Out? It is a wonderful place where one can purchase a burger, 2 sides (pick between corndog, baked beans, slaw, fries, and onion rings) and about a gallon of soda for less than 5 bucks. I followed Jason’s lead and selected Cheerwine as my beverage, which is a local soda that has the flavor and consistency of cherry snow cone syrup. Even with my rigorous junk food training regiment I couldn’t really stomach the stuff.
Nick: I went with a chicken sandwich based on the fact that its name was something like “The Super Deluxe Grandslam Spicy Chicken Sandwich Combo Meal.”
Brian: It had the word “cheesy” in there somewhere.
Nick: Sounds exciting right? Nah. Piece of fried chicken and a bun. There may have been mayo. I was so disappointed when the thing didn’t actually have flashing lights and sound effects I didn’t pay much attention to the consumption portion of the experience. Now for the drink’n: Jason and I have a long and wonderful history with Rolling Rock. It’s the first beer that ever got me drunk, and is responsible for a number of inspirational quotes, most notably my desire to simply “Pour it on my brain.” Thus, we rolled up to the local Kroger looking to continue our illustrious tradition. PBR was cheaper. We bought PBR. Which was fine. Mmm… PBR…
Brian: You don’t pick out PBR. PBR picks you. And that brings us to the card playing. We started out with a game called Euchre, which is popular in the Midwest. It’s a simple game, but enjoyable because of the crazy superstitions you have to follow when you play it. Such as plucking an invisible chicken if you are close to victory. Must be a Midwest thing…
Nick: I grow Very trying to explain, justify, and defend the procedures for Euchre. It’s for every non-believer’s own good that I try to teach them the proper ways to do things. At this point, I’m just going to let them loose in a great flaming wreck of failure. Milk the cow, or be prepared to suffer the consequences. After a few rounds…
Brian: …double entendre…
Nick: …we all piled into Jess’s car and she (she was sober people, relax) drove us to a local bar that I think used to be a shoe factory. Jason rocked some Long Island Ice Teas, which are not my personal favorite, and we dominated at pool. No surprise, I know. Eventually I worked my way into some random people’s foosball game. I would like to take this moment to thank the women in my life that really helped me perfect my foosball skills over the years, skills that allow me to utterly crush anyone stupid enough to challenge my authority.
Brian: Easy big guy. The highlight of the pool bar for me was watching a hillbilly Santa totally shank a shot, rendering the typically harmless cue ball airborne. It sailed about 20 ft through the air, and I laughed my ass off. Maybe you had to be there. We headed back to Jess’ place and I passed out on a section of couch.
Nick: Brian, despite passing out right next to a blanket and a pillow, had forgone both of these items in the interest of immediate slumber. When I, good friend that I am, tried to wedge a pillow under his head, Brian shot up and gruffly asked me what I was doing. I literally had to talk him into laying down again, so great was his suspicion. Talk about paranoid. It’s not like I’m going to pull a killer prank on him at some point in the night as a retaliation for early wrong-doings on his part on this trip. I’d never do something like that. Anyway, that just about does it for whatever day we’re on. We’ll try to sort out the chronology out when we post this puppy. Take it easy, readers. Nick and Brian out.
Norfolk, VA through Wilmington, NC
Nick: Yeah, yeah, we’re bums. It’s been a few days since our last post. But we’ll have you know, we’ve been working hard to rest up so that we can continue to provide the highest standard of coverage from around the nation that you’ve come to expect.
Brian: We are actually writing this after having left Nick’s parents’ house in North Carolina. In fact, our current location may come as a surprise to many of our most faithful followers. We are breaking a promise we made. Let’s talk about that in a later post. For now, as far as the readers are concerned, we are waking up at Nikki’s house in Virginia.
Nick: It was one of those special mornings where I wake up on the floor desperately trying to figure out what happened the night before. I had little time to wonder however as our gracious host provided expediant glasses of orange juice, then ushered us out as she was on her way to an early day of work. Which was fine. We had work to do.
Brian: By accident, Nikki’s house was about 4 blocks away from Fair Grounds, the coffee shop we had visited yesterday. Neither of us were feeling up for blogging, so we settled into some comfortable chairs in a corner and busted out our Gameboys. You’d be surprised what an hour of Gameboy can do for a hangover. Anyway, I can’t remember if I mentioned this last time, but posters were taped all over the walls of Fair Grounds stating that the “free” Internet [sic] (it should read Intermet) is for paying customers only, blah, blah, blah, please make a purchase. Somewhat unfriendly compared to the coffee shops I typically frequent, but times are tough, and I rarely go into a coffee shop and do not make a purchase anyway. Well, apparently I didn’t act quickly enough for the proprietor of the establishment, because he approached me, rudely interrupted my gaming, and stated that customers are asked to make a purchase when using the amenities provided. I told him that I was thinking about it, and he responded, “Well, you can’t just think about it, you have to do it.” Had I not been slightly affected by the Fog of War, I would have let him have it. Any other day of the year. I literally watched him kick out another guy who was reading a newspaper. I purchased tea (cheapest item on the menu) and considered for the next hour leaving him a bad review on Yelp!. I hope the Starbucks across the street drives him out of business.
Nick: Maybe my Fog was thicker. I didn’t really care. Speaking of, when it became time to roll out, I suggested that Brian take the Captain’s Wheel of our vessel as I didn’t feel quite ready to command. He drove for a while. Then we swapped. Then I had to have nap time. I think we crashed in a Home Depot parking lot. It was mildly refreshing. Next stop: Rose, our Couch Surfing contact in Greensboro, NC. We met her and her boyfriend at some local bar downtown then headed to their totally sweet apartment for some crazy delicious homemade chili and television. It was a much needed rest from the previous night’s pumpkin beer tsunami. Not to mention the next stop was my good buddy’s girlfriend’s place in Durham, NC, and I knew there would be plenty of drinking there.
Brian: Way to under appreciate the awesomeness of the chili and cornbread. And how awesome Rose’s apartment was. The apartment started out with a hallway where the bedrooms and bathroom were located and opened up into a huge hardwood living room that was at least 750 square feet. In college I lived in full apartments that could easily fit inside her living room. She let us stay up late and watch TV. I found out that I love that show “It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia”. I recommend it. The only bad part about the experience was that I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat, and couldn’t get back to sleep because I was terrified of having tonsillitis and no insurance.
Nick: Pretty sure I said it was awesome and delicious. I find that short, succinct words are more accurate and ultimately powerful than large, long adjectival clauses. But I’m no English major. That about does it for day thirty-something. Hope all is well out there in cyber space. BRIAN AND NICK ARE GO
Brian: We are actually writing this after having left Nick’s parents’ house in North Carolina. In fact, our current location may come as a surprise to many of our most faithful followers. We are breaking a promise we made. Let’s talk about that in a later post. For now, as far as the readers are concerned, we are waking up at Nikki’s house in Virginia.
Nick: It was one of those special mornings where I wake up on the floor desperately trying to figure out what happened the night before. I had little time to wonder however as our gracious host provided expediant glasses of orange juice, then ushered us out as she was on her way to an early day of work. Which was fine. We had work to do.
Brian: By accident, Nikki’s house was about 4 blocks away from Fair Grounds, the coffee shop we had visited yesterday. Neither of us were feeling up for blogging, so we settled into some comfortable chairs in a corner and busted out our Gameboys. You’d be surprised what an hour of Gameboy can do for a hangover. Anyway, I can’t remember if I mentioned this last time, but posters were taped all over the walls of Fair Grounds stating that the “free” Internet [sic] (it should read Intermet) is for paying customers only, blah, blah, blah, please make a purchase. Somewhat unfriendly compared to the coffee shops I typically frequent, but times are tough, and I rarely go into a coffee shop and do not make a purchase anyway. Well, apparently I didn’t act quickly enough for the proprietor of the establishment, because he approached me, rudely interrupted my gaming, and stated that customers are asked to make a purchase when using the amenities provided. I told him that I was thinking about it, and he responded, “Well, you can’t just think about it, you have to do it.” Had I not been slightly affected by the Fog of War, I would have let him have it. Any other day of the year. I literally watched him kick out another guy who was reading a newspaper. I purchased tea (cheapest item on the menu) and considered for the next hour leaving him a bad review on Yelp!. I hope the Starbucks across the street drives him out of business.
Nick: Maybe my Fog was thicker. I didn’t really care. Speaking of, when it became time to roll out, I suggested that Brian take the Captain’s Wheel of our vessel as I didn’t feel quite ready to command. He drove for a while. Then we swapped. Then I had to have nap time. I think we crashed in a Home Depot parking lot. It was mildly refreshing. Next stop: Rose, our Couch Surfing contact in Greensboro, NC. We met her and her boyfriend at some local bar downtown then headed to their totally sweet apartment for some crazy delicious homemade chili and television. It was a much needed rest from the previous night’s pumpkin beer tsunami. Not to mention the next stop was my good buddy’s girlfriend’s place in Durham, NC, and I knew there would be plenty of drinking there.
Brian: Way to under appreciate the awesomeness of the chili and cornbread. And how awesome Rose’s apartment was. The apartment started out with a hallway where the bedrooms and bathroom were located and opened up into a huge hardwood living room that was at least 750 square feet. In college I lived in full apartments that could easily fit inside her living room. She let us stay up late and watch TV. I found out that I love that show “It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia”. I recommend it. The only bad part about the experience was that I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat, and couldn’t get back to sleep because I was terrified of having tonsillitis and no insurance.
Nick: Pretty sure I said it was awesome and delicious. I find that short, succinct words are more accurate and ultimately powerful than large, long adjectival clauses. But I’m no English major. That about does it for day thirty-something. Hope all is well out there in cyber space. BRIAN AND NICK ARE GO
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Arlington VA through Norfolk, VA
Nick: I don’t like the phrase “when dreams come true.” I think it’s seriously overused, trite, and frankly, it doesn’t make much sense to me. My dreams are almost always bizarre, terrifying, or terrifyingly bizarre. Do I want those unconscious journeys to Freak Town to come true? Of course not. This trip is weird enough as it is. I mention the phrase, however, because it literally happened to me sometime very early in the morning. Kind of. I had a dream that I was in the city somewhere, having a hell of a time finding my way home. In my dream, I desperately wanted to just lay down in a safe warm bed and sleep, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world. I woke up, as I said, very early in the morning, convinced that my dream had been true, and that I was in fact lost out in the world. As my brain slowly started powering up, I realized that I was in fact already in a safe warm bed. Does this story bore you? Excuse me readers, I was just trying to tell you about the happiest moment in the universe when, in an instant, I acquired everything I had ever hoped for in my wildest dream. It was an intense moment of great personal triumph. Forgive me if my personal victories aren’t interesting to you. Jerks.
Brian: It’s one of those “you had to be there” kinds of things, and since none of us were in Nick’s brain, it’s frankly not that interesting. From here on out on this trip, Nick and I know a lot fewer people to crash with so we are going to be depending a lot more on Couchsurfing and camping for our nightly shelter. I know what you are thinking: “Yo, Couchsurfing has sucked for you so far. Why do you continue to tempt fate?” Well hear us out, because the good lady Intermet came through for us on this fateful day. The first place we stopped was a coffee shop called Fair Grounds in Norfolk. There were a bizarrely high number of signs on the walls proclaiming that food should be purchased if you are using the Intermet. It was quite rude and uninviting but I grabbed a cup of tea for propriety, and Nick and I began checking out our potential Couchsurfing options.
Nick: We’ve adopted a technique named “spray and pray” which basically means sending out tons and tons of requests then hoping for a connection with someone that’s not totally bananas. As Brian eluded to, we had some luck this day. Our first stop was Virginia Beach, where we met up with Krista. She showed us around the town, making an initial stop at a giant statue of King Neptune. For the record, while we all know that Big Frick’n Indian statues are blight upon the earth, it turns out that Big Frick’n Pagan statues are pretty damn great. See the photos below for the proof. Next, we went out for lunch at a Tikki themed resturaunt called “Big Sam’s”, which was on the water. It was there that I was met with disaster. Allow me to explain: there are two things about me that have been true for a long time. First, I like seafood like a fat man likes getting that place in the middle of his back scratched; the place that he could never hope to reach without the aid of some sort of stick made specifically for that purpose. In other words, it always hits the spot, and I’m always up for some. Second, I’ll try anything once. Why not, right? Brian: “I think I’ll have the soft shell crab sandwich.” Nick: “Eh? What’s that like?” Brian: It’s good, but it’s literally the whole crab fried between two buns.” Nick: “Hmm… Yeah, OK.” ATTENTION READERS: UNLESS YOU LIKE YOUR FOOD TO REMIND YOU OF GIANT ARACHNIDS, DO NOT ORDER A SOFT SHELL CRAB SANDWICH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. For reals, it looked like an enormous spider resting quietly on a bed of lettuce, tomato, and cocktail sauce. No problem. I’ve eaten a lot of weird stuff in my time. I can man up when the occasion calls for it. Bite one: Legs, mostly. A bit crunchy. Distinct taste of sand and ocean present. Bite two: We’re getting into the gooey bits people. Distinct taste of a digestive system present. Bite three: More of the same. It is quickly becoming apparent that eating this entire thing is going to be a long, difficult struggle. The decision is made to stop eating for a moment and examine more closely the midway point of sandwich, which is where I found myself at that time.
Brian: That was your biggest error.
Nick: A chunk of something fell out. Brian: “What, you don’t like the brains?” That did it for me. My gastronomic adventure was over. Couldn’t finish it. In an attempt to salvage what little dignity I had left, I rolled up the legs in the remaining bun and washed them down with beer and French fries. Now, thinking about that sandwich still sets off a faint gag reflex. Really just an awful experience all around.
Brian: I loved it. Brains, eyeballs, poop-filled digestive system and all. Nick, what was that about Utah? Oh, you are just dry-heaving… we’ll get you some Moxie and you will be right as rain. Our next destination was the Flight Museum at the Virginia Beach airport just outside of town. The D.C. flight museum is free, and I imagine it is huge and awesome. The Virginia Beach flight museum is dinky, and it costs $11 a head. We said no thanks, and the lovely Krista, clearing feeling bad about our disappointment, took us on a half-mile off-road jaunt in her Mustang, literally out into the grass of the airfield. Hang on, we’re in for some chop. We headed back to Krista’s apartment where we met her sister, who suggested that we all go out and select a pumpkin to carve. I grossed Nick out for the second time that day by volunteering to scoop out the brains, aka seeds and goop, with my bare hands. Nick, however, is more of an artist than I am so I relinquished actual carving duty to him and Krista. The end result was pretty rad. Check the pics.
Nick: I hadn’t sculpted in a while, and since all their knives were way too big for the delicate carving I had in mind, I had to go with my tiny pocket knife. Nevertheless, as Brian says, I think we rocked the house on this one. Good work all around. Just as we were finishing up, we got a call from Nikki, another person we found through Couchsurfing, and whom we had plans to spend the night with.
Brian: Bow chicka wow wow.
Nick: Nikki wasn’t far away: Norfolk, Virginia. After a little trouble finding her apartment building, which looked EXACTLY like an apartment building a little further down on the same street, we went inside, had a beer or two, then headed out into the cool Virginia evening following our new host to what we hoped would be a cool bar/eatery with some interesting people to encounter. We were not disappointed. The place was called Cogan’s Pizza, and even on a Wednesday night, people were out doing their thing. The crowd was a bizarre mix of what looked like college frat boys, an assortment of locals, hipsters, and a number of individuals that defied categorization all together. One such individual was rock’n out in a “onesie,” which just so happened to be pink and covered with baby duck images. This outfit, which would normally be a major hindrance in one’s ability to successfully socialize and potentially hook up with the ladies, didn’t seem to create any problems for this guy who, more than once, monopolized the bathroom with no less than two female companions. If you got it you got it I guess. But I digress. Nikki, Brian and I dominated some fools at pool, drank pitchers of a local pumpkin flavored brew, and had a generally good time. The topics of conversation ranged between books, movies, and whether or not Nikki was an enchantress with the ability to cast spells, charms, and other unsavory activities commonly ascribed to witches.
Brian: The witch topic of conversation came up because she is fondly caressing some flowers in her profile picture. As a precautionary measure we texted a witch friend of ours asking her to prepare counter-spells before we ever even met Nikki. You think I’m kidding. Well, it was pouring down rain when we stepped out of the bar, so we cancelled our original plans of midnight tree climbing and just headed back to Nikki’s. Probably a good idea considering I don’t have health insurance. We attempted to watch some youtube when we got back, but anybody that knows me knows that I can’t look at a screen for 3 minutes after 9 o’ clock without passing out. Nikki was super-cool and it was great night overall. Thanks as always for reading.
bNrIiCaKn out.
Brian: It’s one of those “you had to be there” kinds of things, and since none of us were in Nick’s brain, it’s frankly not that interesting. From here on out on this trip, Nick and I know a lot fewer people to crash with so we are going to be depending a lot more on Couchsurfing and camping for our nightly shelter. I know what you are thinking: “Yo, Couchsurfing has sucked for you so far. Why do you continue to tempt fate?” Well hear us out, because the good lady Intermet came through for us on this fateful day. The first place we stopped was a coffee shop called Fair Grounds in Norfolk. There were a bizarrely high number of signs on the walls proclaiming that food should be purchased if you are using the Intermet. It was quite rude and uninviting but I grabbed a cup of tea for propriety, and Nick and I began checking out our potential Couchsurfing options.
Nick: We’ve adopted a technique named “spray and pray” which basically means sending out tons and tons of requests then hoping for a connection with someone that’s not totally bananas. As Brian eluded to, we had some luck this day. Our first stop was Virginia Beach, where we met up with Krista. She showed us around the town, making an initial stop at a giant statue of King Neptune. For the record, while we all know that Big Frick’n Indian statues are blight upon the earth, it turns out that Big Frick’n Pagan statues are pretty damn great. See the photos below for the proof. Next, we went out for lunch at a Tikki themed resturaunt called “Big Sam’s”, which was on the water. It was there that I was met with disaster. Allow me to explain: there are two things about me that have been true for a long time. First, I like seafood like a fat man likes getting that place in the middle of his back scratched; the place that he could never hope to reach without the aid of some sort of stick made specifically for that purpose. In other words, it always hits the spot, and I’m always up for some. Second, I’ll try anything once. Why not, right? Brian: “I think I’ll have the soft shell crab sandwich.” Nick: “Eh? What’s that like?” Brian: It’s good, but it’s literally the whole crab fried between two buns.” Nick: “Hmm… Yeah, OK.” ATTENTION READERS: UNLESS YOU LIKE YOUR FOOD TO REMIND YOU OF GIANT ARACHNIDS, DO NOT ORDER A SOFT SHELL CRAB SANDWICH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. For reals, it looked like an enormous spider resting quietly on a bed of lettuce, tomato, and cocktail sauce. No problem. I’ve eaten a lot of weird stuff in my time. I can man up when the occasion calls for it. Bite one: Legs, mostly. A bit crunchy. Distinct taste of sand and ocean present. Bite two: We’re getting into the gooey bits people. Distinct taste of a digestive system present. Bite three: More of the same. It is quickly becoming apparent that eating this entire thing is going to be a long, difficult struggle. The decision is made to stop eating for a moment and examine more closely the midway point of sandwich, which is where I found myself at that time.
Brian: That was your biggest error.
Nick: A chunk of something fell out. Brian: “What, you don’t like the brains?” That did it for me. My gastronomic adventure was over. Couldn’t finish it. In an attempt to salvage what little dignity I had left, I rolled up the legs in the remaining bun and washed them down with beer and French fries. Now, thinking about that sandwich still sets off a faint gag reflex. Really just an awful experience all around.
Brian: I loved it. Brains, eyeballs, poop-filled digestive system and all. Nick, what was that about Utah? Oh, you are just dry-heaving… we’ll get you some Moxie and you will be right as rain. Our next destination was the Flight Museum at the Virginia Beach airport just outside of town. The D.C. flight museum is free, and I imagine it is huge and awesome. The Virginia Beach flight museum is dinky, and it costs $11 a head. We said no thanks, and the lovely Krista, clearing feeling bad about our disappointment, took us on a half-mile off-road jaunt in her Mustang, literally out into the grass of the airfield. Hang on, we’re in for some chop. We headed back to Krista’s apartment where we met her sister, who suggested that we all go out and select a pumpkin to carve. I grossed Nick out for the second time that day by volunteering to scoop out the brains, aka seeds and goop, with my bare hands. Nick, however, is more of an artist than I am so I relinquished actual carving duty to him and Krista. The end result was pretty rad. Check the pics.
Nick: I hadn’t sculpted in a while, and since all their knives were way too big for the delicate carving I had in mind, I had to go with my tiny pocket knife. Nevertheless, as Brian says, I think we rocked the house on this one. Good work all around. Just as we were finishing up, we got a call from Nikki, another person we found through Couchsurfing, and whom we had plans to spend the night with.
Brian: Bow chicka wow wow.
Nick: Nikki wasn’t far away: Norfolk, Virginia. After a little trouble finding her apartment building, which looked EXACTLY like an apartment building a little further down on the same street, we went inside, had a beer or two, then headed out into the cool Virginia evening following our new host to what we hoped would be a cool bar/eatery with some interesting people to encounter. We were not disappointed. The place was called Cogan’s Pizza, and even on a Wednesday night, people were out doing their thing. The crowd was a bizarre mix of what looked like college frat boys, an assortment of locals, hipsters, and a number of individuals that defied categorization all together. One such individual was rock’n out in a “onesie,” which just so happened to be pink and covered with baby duck images. This outfit, which would normally be a major hindrance in one’s ability to successfully socialize and potentially hook up with the ladies, didn’t seem to create any problems for this guy who, more than once, monopolized the bathroom with no less than two female companions. If you got it you got it I guess. But I digress. Nikki, Brian and I dominated some fools at pool, drank pitchers of a local pumpkin flavored brew, and had a generally good time. The topics of conversation ranged between books, movies, and whether or not Nikki was an enchantress with the ability to cast spells, charms, and other unsavory activities commonly ascribed to witches.
Brian: The witch topic of conversation came up because she is fondly caressing some flowers in her profile picture. As a precautionary measure we texted a witch friend of ours asking her to prepare counter-spells before we ever even met Nikki. You think I’m kidding. Well, it was pouring down rain when we stepped out of the bar, so we cancelled our original plans of midnight tree climbing and just headed back to Nikki’s. Probably a good idea considering I don’t have health insurance. We attempted to watch some youtube when we got back, but anybody that knows me knows that I can’t look at a screen for 3 minutes after 9 o’ clock without passing out. Nikki was super-cool and it was great night overall. Thanks as always for reading.
bNrIiCaKn out.
Arlington VA Day 2
Brian: Warning: Epic update. Nick and I haven’t felt like writing for the past couple of days, but we are trying to keep our promise of never falling more than 3 days behind. Lucky you readers, we are back in the zone and we have a large basket of ripe material. The day started with us giving Alex a ride to the Capitol building for work. It’s the least we can do in return for his hospitality. Nick and I decided to make it another museum day, but rather than hit Smithsonian hotspots, we wanted to check out the less visited museums of the D.C. area. First stop was the Drug Enforcement Agency Museum on the first floor of the DEA headquarters. The gift shop was a head shop. Kidding. Anyway, the coolest thing I saw there was an undercover DEA agent outfit from the 1970’s. A pair of green gator skin shoes with 2-inch soles and a rabbit fur coat. Second coolest thing: a revolver with a diamond studded grip. As we left the museum, about 15 protesters of varying age were approaching the building, carrying signs related to the legalization of marijuana. They were clearly hippies, though several of them tried to hide this fact by donning business suits. But I thought the long grey pulled back hair and bizarre facial hair configurations were a dead giveaway. They began digging in the grass in front of the DEA headquarters and sprinkling what appeared to be pot seeds in the holes. Although, Mom, that’s just a guess, because I’ve never seen pot seeds before.
Nick: We cruised around the block one more time, curious to see what sort of law enforcement would show up. Within a couple minutes, a pair of squad cars arrived, though the protesters continued with their rapid horticultural activities. You’d think they’d at least be charged with vandalism or something. The police really didn’t seem to care. After the DEA building, we went downtown and hit up Madame Tussaude’s Wax Museum. Pricey but we think it was worth it. Check out the photos at the end of this post and we think you’ll agree. The first question on our minds was, of course, where is the wax clone of Miley Cyrus. Alas, we must just not have the technology yet, because we eventually discovered that she was in fact not there. I did however, as a sort of consolation, manage to snap a pick of her singing on a projection screen behind Beyoncé’s waxen form. Yeah, I’m pretty handy with the iPhone cam these days. It’s not a big deal. My personal favorites: Abe Lincoln, George Bush, and Hillary Clinton, though I think Sir Elton John gets an honorable mention.
Brian: Only one more thing to say about that place: I motorboated Tyra Banks, and I’m counting it. Our next stop was the Spy Museum, which is just across the street. The admission prices were quite steep, so Nick and I made a judgment call and decided to simply check out the gift shop. It was probably a good call, because we all know that the super cool stuff we all care about is probably still classified anyway. Like I care about some stupid decoder ring still in the original packaging from a cereal box in the 50’s. Give me flame-thrower pens or give me death! It was a short stop overall, but at least we could say we were there. Next, we took a lesson from yesterday and proceeded with a soothing afternoon in a bookstore café so that we wouldn’t fall asleep at 9:30 again. Good thing, too. The second phase of the day began at around 5:15 pm when we met my friend Arielle (whose name I intentionally mispronounce in a variety of ways) for a beer at a pub on the Hill called Hawk and Dove.
Nick: Nothing much to say about the place, except that it had free cheddar potatoes, which were as delicious as they were random. Next stop was to pick up Alex and then, after some considerable consideration, head over to a none-too-nearby IHOP because Arielle needed some waffles. Normally I’d like to give someone with this sort of irrational determination a hard time, but I can understand and respect a burning desire for a specific consumable at a specific time. The desire, for example, for a certain soda. A dark, thick, old-tasting kind of soda. Maybe it has an orange can, and its name is synonymous with guts, gusto, or “nerve.”
Brian: Associate that.
Nick: I think I’ve said too much. IHOP, as it turns out, was pretty delicious, so I guess Arielle made the right call. After pancakes galore, we dropped her off at her apartment then headed back to Alex’s place to plan our next move. That move, as it turned out, was to watch “The Hangover” in a theatre that served beer. Admission was two dollars. God bless America.
Brian: Also, God bless 100-proof SoCo. That should have been my first indication that it was going to be a long night (and an even longer morning). Yes, the theatre that served beer was an amazing place of magic and wonder, and that movie is hilarious. More than made up for the craptastic Couple’s Retreat disaster. After the movie let out, we snagged a cab back downtown (we went in and out of D.C. a total of 8 times according to my data) to a bar. The name of this bar escapes me.
Nick: Something Rocket? Rockethead?
Brian: Wow, maybe. I think you are right about the “rocket” part. Highlights from the bar were Alex’s friend Billy (a girl) who seemed quite nice and also a group of wildly drunk chicks that were teaching their freshly 21 year-old friend the true meaning of regret. The birthday girl was wearing a lavender dress made out of what appeared to be not much more than an old tube sock. Also a drunken kid with no friends and one of those lisps where you spit a lot decided that I was his new best friend and gave me a salivary car wash. Things get a little fuzzy from there on out. Nick?
Nick: Yeah, I remember punishing a kid that thought he knew a thing or two about billiards, then chatting it up with a couple guys that had come from a Kiss concert and were completely decked out in the corresponding make up and outfits. All in all, a great night. Thanks again to Alex who actually slept on the floor for our time there so that we might have the bed. He’s good people. Brian and Nick out.
Nick: We cruised around the block one more time, curious to see what sort of law enforcement would show up. Within a couple minutes, a pair of squad cars arrived, though the protesters continued with their rapid horticultural activities. You’d think they’d at least be charged with vandalism or something. The police really didn’t seem to care. After the DEA building, we went downtown and hit up Madame Tussaude’s Wax Museum. Pricey but we think it was worth it. Check out the photos at the end of this post and we think you’ll agree. The first question on our minds was, of course, where is the wax clone of Miley Cyrus. Alas, we must just not have the technology yet, because we eventually discovered that she was in fact not there. I did however, as a sort of consolation, manage to snap a pick of her singing on a projection screen behind Beyoncé’s waxen form. Yeah, I’m pretty handy with the iPhone cam these days. It’s not a big deal. My personal favorites: Abe Lincoln, George Bush, and Hillary Clinton, though I think Sir Elton John gets an honorable mention.
Brian: Only one more thing to say about that place: I motorboated Tyra Banks, and I’m counting it. Our next stop was the Spy Museum, which is just across the street. The admission prices were quite steep, so Nick and I made a judgment call and decided to simply check out the gift shop. It was probably a good call, because we all know that the super cool stuff we all care about is probably still classified anyway. Like I care about some stupid decoder ring still in the original packaging from a cereal box in the 50’s. Give me flame-thrower pens or give me death! It was a short stop overall, but at least we could say we were there. Next, we took a lesson from yesterday and proceeded with a soothing afternoon in a bookstore café so that we wouldn’t fall asleep at 9:30 again. Good thing, too. The second phase of the day began at around 5:15 pm when we met my friend Arielle (whose name I intentionally mispronounce in a variety of ways) for a beer at a pub on the Hill called Hawk and Dove.
Nick: Nothing much to say about the place, except that it had free cheddar potatoes, which were as delicious as they were random. Next stop was to pick up Alex and then, after some considerable consideration, head over to a none-too-nearby IHOP because Arielle needed some waffles. Normally I’d like to give someone with this sort of irrational determination a hard time, but I can understand and respect a burning desire for a specific consumable at a specific time. The desire, for example, for a certain soda. A dark, thick, old-tasting kind of soda. Maybe it has an orange can, and its name is synonymous with guts, gusto, or “nerve.”
Brian: Associate that.
Nick: I think I’ve said too much. IHOP, as it turns out, was pretty delicious, so I guess Arielle made the right call. After pancakes galore, we dropped her off at her apartment then headed back to Alex’s place to plan our next move. That move, as it turned out, was to watch “The Hangover” in a theatre that served beer. Admission was two dollars. God bless America.
Brian: Also, God bless 100-proof SoCo. That should have been my first indication that it was going to be a long night (and an even longer morning). Yes, the theatre that served beer was an amazing place of magic and wonder, and that movie is hilarious. More than made up for the craptastic Couple’s Retreat disaster. After the movie let out, we snagged a cab back downtown (we went in and out of D.C. a total of 8 times according to my data) to a bar. The name of this bar escapes me.
Nick: Something Rocket? Rockethead?
Brian: Wow, maybe. I think you are right about the “rocket” part. Highlights from the bar were Alex’s friend Billy (a girl) who seemed quite nice and also a group of wildly drunk chicks that were teaching their freshly 21 year-old friend the true meaning of regret. The birthday girl was wearing a lavender dress made out of what appeared to be not much more than an old tube sock. Also a drunken kid with no friends and one of those lisps where you spit a lot decided that I was his new best friend and gave me a salivary car wash. Things get a little fuzzy from there on out. Nick?
Nick: Yeah, I remember punishing a kid that thought he knew a thing or two about billiards, then chatting it up with a couple guys that had come from a Kiss concert and were completely decked out in the corresponding make up and outfits. All in all, a great night. Thanks again to Alex who actually slept on the floor for our time there so that we might have the bed. He’s good people. Brian and Nick out.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Arlington VA Day 1
Brian: We woke up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a day of all things historical. Alex jogged to a nearby Korean market and picked up a variety of cereal and milks for breakfast. Actually just one type of milk. I had Frosted Flakes. Alex had Fruit Loops. Nick had both in the same bowl. Sigh, he always has to be the weird one.
Nick: I resemble that remark. Our first stop was an in-depth tour of the capitol lead by our illustrious badge-carrying intern Alex. It was like… way historical. Like, totally educational and whatever. I enjoyed the dome itself, which is filled with murals depicting a number of monumental (get it?) events in American history. The painter of some of the work pictured himself (get it?) as a rather important individual that needed to be included in his own depictions. As such, you can find his face tucked into various historically significant crowds at historically significant events. When the powers-that-be discovered the young artist’s flair for inserting himself into these paintings, they naturally requested that he not do it in the last few paintings left for him to finish. His response: paint himself in as a woman. Tricky, tricky. After the Capital building, it was off to the Museum of American History.
Brian: Really, any one of the Smithsonian museums requires much more time than we had to be fully explored. Therefore we had to be choosy about what was important and hilarious. I think it was wise to begin with the American Revolution; after our experience with those Communist revisionists outside of Valley Forge we were feeling a bit disillusioned about patriotism. Watching a puppet repeatedly whack another puppet in the crotch with a tea kettle was just the pick-me-up I needed.
Nick: Huzzah!
Brian: Another exhibit of note: American pop culture. I was able to see 1 of 5 original pairs of the ruby slippers Judy Garland wore for her portrayal of Dorothy Gale in the 1939 classic, Wizard of Oz. Also, an original Kermit the frog, forever behind his quarter inch plexiglass. The highlights of the exhibit however, in my opinion, were the armchairs of Archie and Edith Bunker. If you aren’t sure who they are, they pioneered racism as a form of comedy, a technique employed by comedians such as Steve Carell and Chris Rock today.
Nick: Next stop: Museum of Natural History, which was generally more to my taste. We saw ginormous dinosaur skeletons, underwater beasts, ants (who, in my opinion, are perhaps the most frightening of all God’s creatures. If ants ever get to be the size of small lap dogs while simultaneously acquiring a lust for human flesh, I surrender. I’ll fight zombies, Commies, and even Jedis on the steps of our nation’s Capitol building in a triumphant blaze of glory. Heavily armed or otherwise, if it’s a fight they want, they’ve got it. But when it comes to an oversized insect with the organization powers of the ant tribe, forget about it. I just want you readers to understand that if and when this unstoppable insect invasion comes, you can’t count on Nick Ison to be useful in any way, shape or form. Game over. In a related note, we tried to see the Hope Diamond. We failed.
Brian: The 3-inch solid metal door slammed shut just as we approached it. It ended up being for the best though, because the three of us were clearly exhausted from a long day of trekking around the city. We took Alex to work (the kid works three jobs, which is why Nick and I are intentionally unemployed, to make up for Alex’s sense of industry) and settled down in a theatre to watch Couple’s Retreat starring Vince Vaughn. Don’t see it, it’s dumb. Not even a good date movie. We grabbed some food after the movie to kill some time, then picked Alex up from work and headed back to his place for an insane night of debauchery and insanity, which we all slept through.
Nick: It’s true. Sometimes the best intentions just aren’t enough. By the time we got home, the prospect of doing anything except falling asleep was not something we were interested in. Perhaps tomorrow. You stay classy America. Brian and Nick out.
Nick: I resemble that remark. Our first stop was an in-depth tour of the capitol lead by our illustrious badge-carrying intern Alex. It was like… way historical. Like, totally educational and whatever. I enjoyed the dome itself, which is filled with murals depicting a number of monumental (get it?) events in American history. The painter of some of the work pictured himself (get it?) as a rather important individual that needed to be included in his own depictions. As such, you can find his face tucked into various historically significant crowds at historically significant events. When the powers-that-be discovered the young artist’s flair for inserting himself into these paintings, they naturally requested that he not do it in the last few paintings left for him to finish. His response: paint himself in as a woman. Tricky, tricky. After the Capital building, it was off to the Museum of American History.
Brian: Really, any one of the Smithsonian museums requires much more time than we had to be fully explored. Therefore we had to be choosy about what was important and hilarious. I think it was wise to begin with the American Revolution; after our experience with those Communist revisionists outside of Valley Forge we were feeling a bit disillusioned about patriotism. Watching a puppet repeatedly whack another puppet in the crotch with a tea kettle was just the pick-me-up I needed.
Nick: Huzzah!
Brian: Another exhibit of note: American pop culture. I was able to see 1 of 5 original pairs of the ruby slippers Judy Garland wore for her portrayal of Dorothy Gale in the 1939 classic, Wizard of Oz. Also, an original Kermit the frog, forever behind his quarter inch plexiglass. The highlights of the exhibit however, in my opinion, were the armchairs of Archie and Edith Bunker. If you aren’t sure who they are, they pioneered racism as a form of comedy, a technique employed by comedians such as Steve Carell and Chris Rock today.
Nick: Next stop: Museum of Natural History, which was generally more to my taste. We saw ginormous dinosaur skeletons, underwater beasts, ants (who, in my opinion, are perhaps the most frightening of all God’s creatures. If ants ever get to be the size of small lap dogs while simultaneously acquiring a lust for human flesh, I surrender. I’ll fight zombies, Commies, and even Jedis on the steps of our nation’s Capitol building in a triumphant blaze of glory. Heavily armed or otherwise, if it’s a fight they want, they’ve got it. But when it comes to an oversized insect with the organization powers of the ant tribe, forget about it. I just want you readers to understand that if and when this unstoppable insect invasion comes, you can’t count on Nick Ison to be useful in any way, shape or form. Game over. In a related note, we tried to see the Hope Diamond. We failed.
Brian: The 3-inch solid metal door slammed shut just as we approached it. It ended up being for the best though, because the three of us were clearly exhausted from a long day of trekking around the city. We took Alex to work (the kid works three jobs, which is why Nick and I are intentionally unemployed, to make up for Alex’s sense of industry) and settled down in a theatre to watch Couple’s Retreat starring Vince Vaughn. Don’t see it, it’s dumb. Not even a good date movie. We grabbed some food after the movie to kill some time, then picked Alex up from work and headed back to his place for an insane night of debauchery and insanity, which we all slept through.
Nick: It’s true. Sometimes the best intentions just aren’t enough. By the time we got home, the prospect of doing anything except falling asleep was not something we were interested in. Perhaps tomorrow. You stay classy America. Brian and Nick out.
York, PA through Arlington, VA
Nick: After waking up without the allergic haze that always engulfs me after a night at a residence with cats, I felt fresh and ready to take on another kick ass day on a trip that has started to feel like a permanent way of life. At Negrin’s suggestion, we went apple picking. Why not?
Brian: Moms: skip this next sentence. I think this morning was only the second piece of fruit I’ve eaten this entire trip. But to make up for lost time, I had several apples right off the tree. Actually, I only ate them because they were free. Sorry Mom. So Nick and I bid Matt and his girlfriend adieu at the orchard and began to make our way to the nation’s capitol, which will effectively be the end of our time in the northeast and the end of the first act of our trip. We tried to get a picture of the four of us as we left the orchard, but the kind woman operating Nick’s iPhone only succeeded in snapping a delightful photo of her forefinger. I was worried when she asked us if it was one of those new iThingys that her son has. Oh well. We finally tired of the radio about halfway to D.C. and began listening to our first book on tape.
Nick: It’s a book by Nelson Demille who, if you don’t know, frequently writes suspenseful action books. Think Jack Bauer in print. But unlike the last few seasons of 24, DeMille’s books are pretty darn good. In fact, we were so entranced, we didn’t notice I had iTunes on “shuffle” which of course meant we listened to the first few chapters in totally random order. Some English major I turned out to be… Anyway, Brian drove into the capitol, which was nice. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I usually love battling disgruntled North East drivers for lane territory and then desperately weaving in and out of traffic in an attempt to grab the right exit before we go flying past. But sometimes you can have too much fun, and I was pretty ready for the passenger seat. We met Brian’s friend Alex at his house, the headed into the city.
Brian: It was probably our second longest walk on this trip so far, our first of course being the 10-mile death march (actually not so bad) through Jersey. We miraculously found free parking downtown amidst a massive LGBT rights rally, and walked from the capitol building to the Lincoln memorial, stopping at the Washington monument and the White House along the way. Several times blockades forced us to take detours so I have to imagine we walked at least 4 or 5 miles. Several topics of conversations came up, but the most memorable was perhaps an idea for the greatest movie never made: Jedi Knights vs Zombies. Imagine the effectiveness and utility of a lightsaber against a horde of the walking dead. Of course the topic of killing zombies leads to conversations about guns, and conversations about guns leads Nick to declaring, “I am exhausted and heavily armed,” directly in front of the capitol. The context of the statement is, “I would only want to fight zombies on the capitol steps as a last resort if I am exhausted and heavily armed,” but you have to watch what you say. As Alex said, this city has ears.
Nick: And she said. What? After a much historic site seeing and numerous conversations concerning the synthesis of all things awesome and good in the universe, we sought out a local watering hole to see what the DC nightlife might have to offer. Turns out the city doesn’t have too much to offer… at least not where we were, which, to be fair, was actually just outside the city. No matter. We met up with Alex’s friend Andrew, who was a spirited young man with an enthusiasm for stories from our journeying and the ability to tell a few of his own. Good night.
Brian: It was a good night to be sure. Thanks again for reading, and a shout out blog thanks to Alex for letting us crash at his place for a few days (even though he apparently doesn’t even have time to read the blog). There is a lot to see in D.C. so expect another couple days of our take on American history. Love, Brian and Nick. And out.
Brian: Moms: skip this next sentence. I think this morning was only the second piece of fruit I’ve eaten this entire trip. But to make up for lost time, I had several apples right off the tree. Actually, I only ate them because they were free. Sorry Mom. So Nick and I bid Matt and his girlfriend adieu at the orchard and began to make our way to the nation’s capitol, which will effectively be the end of our time in the northeast and the end of the first act of our trip. We tried to get a picture of the four of us as we left the orchard, but the kind woman operating Nick’s iPhone only succeeded in snapping a delightful photo of her forefinger. I was worried when she asked us if it was one of those new iThingys that her son has. Oh well. We finally tired of the radio about halfway to D.C. and began listening to our first book on tape.
Nick: It’s a book by Nelson Demille who, if you don’t know, frequently writes suspenseful action books. Think Jack Bauer in print. But unlike the last few seasons of 24, DeMille’s books are pretty darn good. In fact, we were so entranced, we didn’t notice I had iTunes on “shuffle” which of course meant we listened to the first few chapters in totally random order. Some English major I turned out to be… Anyway, Brian drove into the capitol, which was nice. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I usually love battling disgruntled North East drivers for lane territory and then desperately weaving in and out of traffic in an attempt to grab the right exit before we go flying past. But sometimes you can have too much fun, and I was pretty ready for the passenger seat. We met Brian’s friend Alex at his house, the headed into the city.
Brian: It was probably our second longest walk on this trip so far, our first of course being the 10-mile death march (actually not so bad) through Jersey. We miraculously found free parking downtown amidst a massive LGBT rights rally, and walked from the capitol building to the Lincoln memorial, stopping at the Washington monument and the White House along the way. Several times blockades forced us to take detours so I have to imagine we walked at least 4 or 5 miles. Several topics of conversations came up, but the most memorable was perhaps an idea for the greatest movie never made: Jedi Knights vs Zombies. Imagine the effectiveness and utility of a lightsaber against a horde of the walking dead. Of course the topic of killing zombies leads to conversations about guns, and conversations about guns leads Nick to declaring, “I am exhausted and heavily armed,” directly in front of the capitol. The context of the statement is, “I would only want to fight zombies on the capitol steps as a last resort if I am exhausted and heavily armed,” but you have to watch what you say. As Alex said, this city has ears.
Nick: And she said. What? After a much historic site seeing and numerous conversations concerning the synthesis of all things awesome and good in the universe, we sought out a local watering hole to see what the DC nightlife might have to offer. Turns out the city doesn’t have too much to offer… at least not where we were, which, to be fair, was actually just outside the city. No matter. We met up with Alex’s friend Andrew, who was a spirited young man with an enthusiasm for stories from our journeying and the ability to tell a few of his own. Good night.
Brian: It was a good night to be sure. Thanks again for reading, and a shout out blog thanks to Alex for letting us crash at his place for a few days (even though he apparently doesn’t even have time to read the blog). There is a lot to see in D.C. so expect another couple days of our take on American history. Love, Brian and Nick. And out.
Philadelphia, PA through York, PA
Brian: Looking back, I would have to define Philadelphia primarily by its crazy delicious breakfasts. This morning’s destination was another hipster diner, Sabrina’s, this time located in the Italian Market. Our first parking spot was about 18 inches over a painted curb, and for some reason determining whether or not our car would be ticketed became a community event. To the disappointment of the small crowd gathered around our vehicle we decided to continue our streak of receiving no tickets and not risk it. I have no idea why our parking dilemma was so interesting, but thanks to this trip nothing seems weird anymore.
Nick: It was strange. Sabrina’s breakfasts have always been good, and October 10th was no exception. Brian and I each got something like a giant pancake sandwich with eggs, sausage, peppers, and a menagerie of southwest sauces. I don’t think we ate again until late at night, such was the pancake sandwich’s ability to fill and satisfy. After breakfast, it was time to say goodbye to some of my favorite people in the world. Our first stop was some historical battle sight an hour or so outside the city. We were looking for Valley Forge, and we thought that was where we were going, but it wasn’t. After exploring the sites museum, watching its video, and examining its artifacts, all we have concluded was that the Americans lost the war (I didn’t know that was something we’d ever done) and that the Quakers didn’t particularly care for current events at the time.
Brian: Not only did the site highlight a major defeat of the American (then Rebel) soldiers, but the loss was blamed on the stubbornness and impulsiveness of Gen. George Washington. It was quite a shock after the tear-jerking presentation at the Constitution Center in Philly. All’s well that ends well though. It was around this time that Nick opened up his birthday package and found, along with a set of car speakers, a vanilla cupcake flavored car freshener. It is currently hanging from the rear-view mirror along with a can of Moxie. If you will recall our gift from Amy Blunt (Pittsburgh…Craigslist…mansion) you will note that this is not the first time the car has smelled like vanilla cupcake this trip. It is a welcome scent in comparison to the stale laundry Lucy typically exudes. Our next stop was York, Pennsylvania, but our friend Matt did not end work until much later that evening so we had some time to kill. We celebrated Nick’s birthday at a local dive.
Nick: True. After some considerable time blogging in a Border’s café, we hit up what seemed like the best choice from not too many options of local drinkeries. The bar was in a bowling alley, which, if the readers will recall our journey to Scranton, has been historically gratifying for us. Though the crowd seemed pretty rugged and very local, the bartender generously treated me to several Yuengling’s on the house served in what can only be described as an enormous goblet. When Matt got off work, we hit up his apartment, caught up, then stayed up till around 3am watching awesome youtube videos.
Brian: I think we should each make an Intermet video recommendation of the night before closing out. For me it the front page video on stsanders.com. It’s an old Rolling Stones video with the sound and lyrics dubbed over to give it a badly translated Japanese pop music feel.
Nick: Coming to Alderon was pretty good. Sound bytes by James Earl Jones’s character in “Coming to America” are carefully dubbed over the opening scene from Star Wars Episode IV. It works. That about does it for October 10th. Tell your friends about the blog if you haven’t already, and comment when you feel so moved, we really appreciate them. That does it for today. B & N out.
Nick: It was strange. Sabrina’s breakfasts have always been good, and October 10th was no exception. Brian and I each got something like a giant pancake sandwich with eggs, sausage, peppers, and a menagerie of southwest sauces. I don’t think we ate again until late at night, such was the pancake sandwich’s ability to fill and satisfy. After breakfast, it was time to say goodbye to some of my favorite people in the world. Our first stop was some historical battle sight an hour or so outside the city. We were looking for Valley Forge, and we thought that was where we were going, but it wasn’t. After exploring the sites museum, watching its video, and examining its artifacts, all we have concluded was that the Americans lost the war (I didn’t know that was something we’d ever done) and that the Quakers didn’t particularly care for current events at the time.
Brian: Not only did the site highlight a major defeat of the American (then Rebel) soldiers, but the loss was blamed on the stubbornness and impulsiveness of Gen. George Washington. It was quite a shock after the tear-jerking presentation at the Constitution Center in Philly. All’s well that ends well though. It was around this time that Nick opened up his birthday package and found, along with a set of car speakers, a vanilla cupcake flavored car freshener. It is currently hanging from the rear-view mirror along with a can of Moxie. If you will recall our gift from Amy Blunt (Pittsburgh…Craigslist…mansion) you will note that this is not the first time the car has smelled like vanilla cupcake this trip. It is a welcome scent in comparison to the stale laundry Lucy typically exudes. Our next stop was York, Pennsylvania, but our friend Matt did not end work until much later that evening so we had some time to kill. We celebrated Nick’s birthday at a local dive.
Nick: True. After some considerable time blogging in a Border’s café, we hit up what seemed like the best choice from not too many options of local drinkeries. The bar was in a bowling alley, which, if the readers will recall our journey to Scranton, has been historically gratifying for us. Though the crowd seemed pretty rugged and very local, the bartender generously treated me to several Yuengling’s on the house served in what can only be described as an enormous goblet. When Matt got off work, we hit up his apartment, caught up, then stayed up till around 3am watching awesome youtube videos.
Brian: I think we should each make an Intermet video recommendation of the night before closing out. For me it the front page video on stsanders.com. It’s an old Rolling Stones video with the sound and lyrics dubbed over to give it a badly translated Japanese pop music feel.
Nick: Coming to Alderon was pretty good. Sound bytes by James Earl Jones’s character in “Coming to America” are carefully dubbed over the opening scene from Star Wars Episode IV. It works. That about does it for October 10th. Tell your friends about the blog if you haven’t already, and comment when you feel so moved, we really appreciate them. That does it for today. B & N out.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Philadelphia, PA Day 3
Brian: I thanked my body for being such a trooper by getting a full night of rest and having a simple breakfast of granola and goat yogurt. Then for no reason at all I punished my body by purchasing a $2 fried egg sandwich on the street from a Middle Eastern man in a silver trailer. What about second breakfast… elevensies…
Nick: As if the blog isn’t nerdy enough…
Brian: We spent Friday morning catching up on this week’s TV shows. Jim and Pam got married! Like I care. If it was up to me, a single Pam would be purchasing the first of many cats, and Jim would still be tapping that Italian chick. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a girl that knows how to play Call of Duty.
Nick: After tasty cart food, I had a conversation with Erika about next summer in Philly, seminary, and where I might find the funding for those ventures. Next, we drove to the post office to pick up a birthday package from my folks. Suffice it to say, as parents go, I got pretty lucky. With gift in hand, our next stop was a place named, rather lamely I think, the Magic Gardens. The place itself is not lame however. It’s a multi-level sculpted environment made mostly from found materials like bottles, shards of glass and ceramic, and bicycle wheels. I can’t imagine why I would like a place like that…
Brian: Trash tree much? In all seriousness though, the Gardens were pretty awesome. Although the faces in the artwork are reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite’s rendering of Trish, the man has clearly spent countless hours placing each shard of glass and tile with utmost care. Definitely check this out if you are in Philly. The best part was, as we were walking out, I accidentally brushed shoulders with this hippy dude. When I turned around to apologize, I was looking into the face of the man who built the Magic Garden’s. It was kind of like at the end of a movie where an inspirational person makes a cameo as his or herself and gives an inspirational speech. We were hungry again by the time we were finished, so I led Nick to a nearby pizza hole using ISP.
Nick: Italian Sensory Perception. I like it. After that, we hit up a bar in north Philly that allegedly had free drinks from 7-9 in honor of their one-year anniversary.
Brian: This was according to a girl named Jade that we met on CouchSurfing. We met her at the bar. I know what you are thinking. After the Dooz debacle why would we ever give meeting people online another chance? Well you might be right about that, because things got a little crazy toward the end of the night. But to begin, yes, they did, in fact, have free drinks.
Nick: What up. After that, we worked our way south again to end the night in that most excellent of dive bars, Bob and Barbara’s. A can of PRB and a shot of Jim Beam for three dollars? Yes, please. The long and the short of it was, it was an easy night on the wallets. Another rough one on the liver. Life is about compromises.
Brian: A lesson Jade would be wise to learn. She drank a bit too much and then tried to follow us home. We gave her a subway token and told her she needed to go to bed. She wouldn’t have any of it, and she tried to tell us that she didn’t actually even have a home. I believe this to be a lie, because she had earlier asked us if we needed a place to stay, and offered her residence to us. We ended up walking her to the subway station and then sprinting a couple blocks as soon as we rounded the corner. She was that clingy. But we were able to shake her.
Nick: OK, listen close all you cyberistas out there. We like meeting new people, and we know some of you are good because Amy Blunt from Pittsburg made us cupcakes. The rest of you need to cool it with the crazy. Seriously. If you can’t trust people you meet on the Intermet, who can you trust? The song of the day is definitely “Jaded,” by Aerosmith. That pretty much does it for Friday. Check out the new poll if you haven’t already. Nick and Brian oooouuutt.
Nick: As if the blog isn’t nerdy enough…
Brian: We spent Friday morning catching up on this week’s TV shows. Jim and Pam got married! Like I care. If it was up to me, a single Pam would be purchasing the first of many cats, and Jim would still be tapping that Italian chick. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a girl that knows how to play Call of Duty.
Nick: After tasty cart food, I had a conversation with Erika about next summer in Philly, seminary, and where I might find the funding for those ventures. Next, we drove to the post office to pick up a birthday package from my folks. Suffice it to say, as parents go, I got pretty lucky. With gift in hand, our next stop was a place named, rather lamely I think, the Magic Gardens. The place itself is not lame however. It’s a multi-level sculpted environment made mostly from found materials like bottles, shards of glass and ceramic, and bicycle wheels. I can’t imagine why I would like a place like that…
Brian: Trash tree much? In all seriousness though, the Gardens were pretty awesome. Although the faces in the artwork are reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite’s rendering of Trish, the man has clearly spent countless hours placing each shard of glass and tile with utmost care. Definitely check this out if you are in Philly. The best part was, as we were walking out, I accidentally brushed shoulders with this hippy dude. When I turned around to apologize, I was looking into the face of the man who built the Magic Garden’s. It was kind of like at the end of a movie where an inspirational person makes a cameo as his or herself and gives an inspirational speech. We were hungry again by the time we were finished, so I led Nick to a nearby pizza hole using ISP.
Nick: Italian Sensory Perception. I like it. After that, we hit up a bar in north Philly that allegedly had free drinks from 7-9 in honor of their one-year anniversary.
Brian: This was according to a girl named Jade that we met on CouchSurfing. We met her at the bar. I know what you are thinking. After the Dooz debacle why would we ever give meeting people online another chance? Well you might be right about that, because things got a little crazy toward the end of the night. But to begin, yes, they did, in fact, have free drinks.
Nick: What up. After that, we worked our way south again to end the night in that most excellent of dive bars, Bob and Barbara’s. A can of PRB and a shot of Jim Beam for three dollars? Yes, please. The long and the short of it was, it was an easy night on the wallets. Another rough one on the liver. Life is about compromises.
Brian: A lesson Jade would be wise to learn. She drank a bit too much and then tried to follow us home. We gave her a subway token and told her she needed to go to bed. She wouldn’t have any of it, and she tried to tell us that she didn’t actually even have a home. I believe this to be a lie, because she had earlier asked us if we needed a place to stay, and offered her residence to us. We ended up walking her to the subway station and then sprinting a couple blocks as soon as we rounded the corner. She was that clingy. But we were able to shake her.
Nick: OK, listen close all you cyberistas out there. We like meeting new people, and we know some of you are good because Amy Blunt from Pittsburg made us cupcakes. The rest of you need to cool it with the crazy. Seriously. If you can’t trust people you meet on the Intermet, who can you trust? The song of the day is definitely “Jaded,” by Aerosmith. That pretty much does it for Friday. Check out the new poll if you haven’t already. Nick and Brian oooouuutt.
Philadelphia, PA Day 2
Nick: It’s starting to get hard, readers.
Brian: Too easy. I’ll pass on this one.
Nick: Here we are in a Border’s somewhere near York, PA desperately trying to recount the events of the last two days for the blog. Progress is slow and strained. But here’s our best recollection to date:
In the morning, we met Erika Funk at a most excellent breakfast/brunch place called Honey’s. Honey’s was an old favorite from last summer, and it did not disappoint. Huevos Rancheros will always cure what ails you in the morning.
Brian: Everything there is made using fresh local ingredients, therefore everything there is delicious. I ordered guacamole and vegan biscuits and gravy. They are healthy because they are vegan. Right?
Nick: Sure… After getting fueled up for the day, we worked our way over to the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the Constitution Center, all located in, if you can believe it, the historical district. The Bell is free to the public. The Hall is free to the public. The Center is free to the public if the public sneaks in a construction entrance and carefully times their way past the less than vigilante guards.
Brian: So sneaky. And my Dad says video games are a waste of time. Today they saved us 12 bucks each! Actually I think it was $8 for students…
Nick: Still a great day for the gaming industry. I have to say, the historical presentation at the Constitution center was pretty moving. Check it out if you find yourself in the City of Brotherly Love with a free afternoon.
Brian: Later that day we admitted to each other that we were so moved by the video that we were choked up. Almost crying. Alas, such things are not allowed in the company of men. We left the historical district and made our way back to what has become our unofficial Philadelphia HQ, the old church/castle on Broad Street. Our task: disassemble an “art project” Nick built last summer. It’s a giant tree built out of garbage.
Nick: OOOORRR…. It’s a sculpture created by combining different objects that youth found on the streets throughout the summer in an attempt to visually represent the transformation of the used, the dirty, and the abandoned into something practical, beautiful, and inspirational. Kinda what Broad Street’s all about. It was a little sad taking the tree down, not because I didn’t think it was time but because I never really got to give the sculpture the energy or attention it needed to look the way I had planned. Oh well. If the stars align just right, I’ll be back in Philly next summer with a job title that gives me more time to work on art projects. After the dirty work of disassembling the trash tree, we headed home, showered, then met Erika and Wendy out at a fairly new resturaunt called Max Brenner’s House of Chocolate.
Brian: If Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory existed in real life, this would be the café in the lobby. Max Brenner, also known to his patrons as “The Bald Man”, is a master of all things cocoa… and cacao. (What’s the difference again?) Nick’s French fries were covered in a chocolate powder, and my fish tacos were drizzled with a light molé sauce. Dessert was fondue. They ran out of churros so we talked the waitress into bringing us an extra bowl of marshmallows. After dessert we played a hilarious game where you begin by writing a sentence, then have people alternately either draw what is written down or write down what they see drawn. It is done secretly, and you aren’t allowed to look at any other previous drawings or sentences except the one given to you. It is hard to draw a goat duct-taped to a ceiling fan.
Nick: Or, as I interpreted it, an Aztec glyph hovering over a devil-bull. Which Erika interpreted as a flaming devil butt. Love it. Mad props to Funk on her pretty perfect drawing of Sarah Palin tap dancing in Disney Land. That about does it for Thursday. We’re jam’n. Brian and Nick out.
Brian: Too easy. I’ll pass on this one.
Nick: Here we are in a Border’s somewhere near York, PA desperately trying to recount the events of the last two days for the blog. Progress is slow and strained. But here’s our best recollection to date:
In the morning, we met Erika Funk at a most excellent breakfast/brunch place called Honey’s. Honey’s was an old favorite from last summer, and it did not disappoint. Huevos Rancheros will always cure what ails you in the morning.
Brian: Everything there is made using fresh local ingredients, therefore everything there is delicious. I ordered guacamole and vegan biscuits and gravy. They are healthy because they are vegan. Right?
Nick: Sure… After getting fueled up for the day, we worked our way over to the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the Constitution Center, all located in, if you can believe it, the historical district. The Bell is free to the public. The Hall is free to the public. The Center is free to the public if the public sneaks in a construction entrance and carefully times their way past the less than vigilante guards.
Brian: So sneaky. And my Dad says video games are a waste of time. Today they saved us 12 bucks each! Actually I think it was $8 for students…
Nick: Still a great day for the gaming industry. I have to say, the historical presentation at the Constitution center was pretty moving. Check it out if you find yourself in the City of Brotherly Love with a free afternoon.
Brian: Later that day we admitted to each other that we were so moved by the video that we were choked up. Almost crying. Alas, such things are not allowed in the company of men. We left the historical district and made our way back to what has become our unofficial Philadelphia HQ, the old church/castle on Broad Street. Our task: disassemble an “art project” Nick built last summer. It’s a giant tree built out of garbage.
Nick: OOOORRR…. It’s a sculpture created by combining different objects that youth found on the streets throughout the summer in an attempt to visually represent the transformation of the used, the dirty, and the abandoned into something practical, beautiful, and inspirational. Kinda what Broad Street’s all about. It was a little sad taking the tree down, not because I didn’t think it was time but because I never really got to give the sculpture the energy or attention it needed to look the way I had planned. Oh well. If the stars align just right, I’ll be back in Philly next summer with a job title that gives me more time to work on art projects. After the dirty work of disassembling the trash tree, we headed home, showered, then met Erika and Wendy out at a fairly new resturaunt called Max Brenner’s House of Chocolate.
Brian: If Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory existed in real life, this would be the café in the lobby. Max Brenner, also known to his patrons as “The Bald Man”, is a master of all things cocoa… and cacao. (What’s the difference again?) Nick’s French fries were covered in a chocolate powder, and my fish tacos were drizzled with a light molé sauce. Dessert was fondue. They ran out of churros so we talked the waitress into bringing us an extra bowl of marshmallows. After dessert we played a hilarious game where you begin by writing a sentence, then have people alternately either draw what is written down or write down what they see drawn. It is done secretly, and you aren’t allowed to look at any other previous drawings or sentences except the one given to you. It is hard to draw a goat duct-taped to a ceiling fan.
Nick: Or, as I interpreted it, an Aztec glyph hovering over a devil-bull. Which Erika interpreted as a flaming devil butt. Love it. Mad props to Funk on her pretty perfect drawing of Sarah Palin tap dancing in Disney Land. That about does it for Thursday. We’re jam’n. Brian and Nick out.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Philadelphia, PA Day 1
Brian: It was nice not to wake up with a fresh frost in my hair. Thanks to Julie’s family for hosting us. It is the hospitality of our friends that makes this trip possible. There were two main topics of conversation the night before. One was the high volume of haunted hotspots in the Philadelphia area, and the other was fake drug names on state surveys we took in high school. In order to disqualify people who were filling out the survey randomly or intentionally falsifying information, they would plant a question regarding a made-up drug in the survey. If you said you have taken the drug, it would disqualify your exam. Hope and Wagon Wheel are examples of the fake names they would come up with. To fuse these topics of conversation, we decided to travel with Julie to the haunted town of New Hope, New Jersey.
Nick: New Hope was pretty cool. There was a giant stature of an unidentified creature greeting us as we entered the town. A one thousand dollar reward to the reader than can correctly categorize this beast in its proper place on the evolutionary tree. A picture to follow with us riding the thing Falcore style. That’s right. New Hope also had a pretty well stocked sword shop, which was convenient as we needed a new whittling knife. They sell them at sword shops. The next stop was an Italian deli not far from Julie’s place. Buffalo Chicken cheese steak: Delicious. With fresh armaments in our camping supply box and supreme sandwiches freshly devoured, we were ready to roll into the city of brotherly love.
Brian: Nick is quite familiar with Philly, so I’ll take the reins to give my first impressions. Philadelphia is like Boston in the sense that it has great historical significance, but there seems to be a greater emphasis in general on the arts. Every wall of reasonable size is covered with a mural that represents the neighborhood. Also unlike Boston, the city is clearly built on a grid system. Apparently Philly’s grid system planning predates New York’s, making it the first major planned city in the United States. We hiked around downtown for a couple of hours, sampling some of the famous Water Ice, which basically like a soft Italian Ice. Nick showed off the old church he worked at a couple of summers ago. Frankly I’m impressed it’s still standing. We decided to end our time with Julie by visiting the Eastern State Penitentiary, where Al Capone served a single year of prison time. It was awesome, and I would totally recommend it to anybody passing through.
Nick: I’ve been looking forward to Philly more than anywhere else on this trip. Some of my best friends in the world are here, my favorite places to eat, drink, and hang out are here, the place that taught me so much about social justice and what a church can be in that context is here. It’s a city I hope to live in again. Anyway, Julie left after we got to Broad Street Ministry, which is the church Brian mentioned. For those of you familiar with the city, it’s right on Broad, just a few blocks south of City Hall. For those of you not familiar with the city, it’s pretty much as downtown as you can get. Wendy, who is my good friend and the person we’re staying with for the next few days, took us out for cheese steaks after we left Broad Street. There is a street corner with two famous cheese steak places across from each other, Pat’s and Gino’s, and there has always been heated controversy over who has the best sandwich. Personally… I’m more of a Gino’s guy. I don’t like all the crazy lights that adorn their establishment, and the staff is allegedly very racist. I don’t know about that, but I do know that their cheese is out of control good, and I could eat there a couple teams a week for the rest of eternity and not be too unhappy about the arrangement.
Brian: Unfortunately if you ate there a couple times a week, the rest of eternity would be less than a year. Not quite as potent as a Double-Down, to be sure, but certainly a challenging endeavor for even the biggest junk foodie. I thought it was delicious, but according to Nick, they weren’t even the best they’ve ever made. I ordered mine “Whiz Wit’” which means melted cheese whiz and fried onion. Mmm. To finish off the night, Nick took me to his favorite local dive, a perpetually unfinished bar called Bob and Barbara’s. They have a $3 special where you get a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Jim Beam. Still on camp time, we only had one of those and came back for an early night. In my typical style, I was asleep the moment the lights went out.
Nick: Feels good to be back in what I can confidently call my favorite city in America. And now, for your viewing pleasure, photos from a creepy, possibly haunted, prison in serious need of repair. Brian and Nick out.
Nick: New Hope was pretty cool. There was a giant stature of an unidentified creature greeting us as we entered the town. A one thousand dollar reward to the reader than can correctly categorize this beast in its proper place on the evolutionary tree. A picture to follow with us riding the thing Falcore style. That’s right. New Hope also had a pretty well stocked sword shop, which was convenient as we needed a new whittling knife. They sell them at sword shops. The next stop was an Italian deli not far from Julie’s place. Buffalo Chicken cheese steak: Delicious. With fresh armaments in our camping supply box and supreme sandwiches freshly devoured, we were ready to roll into the city of brotherly love.
Brian: Nick is quite familiar with Philly, so I’ll take the reins to give my first impressions. Philadelphia is like Boston in the sense that it has great historical significance, but there seems to be a greater emphasis in general on the arts. Every wall of reasonable size is covered with a mural that represents the neighborhood. Also unlike Boston, the city is clearly built on a grid system. Apparently Philly’s grid system planning predates New York’s, making it the first major planned city in the United States. We hiked around downtown for a couple of hours, sampling some of the famous Water Ice, which basically like a soft Italian Ice. Nick showed off the old church he worked at a couple of summers ago. Frankly I’m impressed it’s still standing. We decided to end our time with Julie by visiting the Eastern State Penitentiary, where Al Capone served a single year of prison time. It was awesome, and I would totally recommend it to anybody passing through.
Nick: I’ve been looking forward to Philly more than anywhere else on this trip. Some of my best friends in the world are here, my favorite places to eat, drink, and hang out are here, the place that taught me so much about social justice and what a church can be in that context is here. It’s a city I hope to live in again. Anyway, Julie left after we got to Broad Street Ministry, which is the church Brian mentioned. For those of you familiar with the city, it’s right on Broad, just a few blocks south of City Hall. For those of you not familiar with the city, it’s pretty much as downtown as you can get. Wendy, who is my good friend and the person we’re staying with for the next few days, took us out for cheese steaks after we left Broad Street. There is a street corner with two famous cheese steak places across from each other, Pat’s and Gino’s, and there has always been heated controversy over who has the best sandwich. Personally… I’m more of a Gino’s guy. I don’t like all the crazy lights that adorn their establishment, and the staff is allegedly very racist. I don’t know about that, but I do know that their cheese is out of control good, and I could eat there a couple teams a week for the rest of eternity and not be too unhappy about the arrangement.
Brian: Unfortunately if you ate there a couple times a week, the rest of eternity would be less than a year. Not quite as potent as a Double-Down, to be sure, but certainly a challenging endeavor for even the biggest junk foodie. I thought it was delicious, but according to Nick, they weren’t even the best they’ve ever made. I ordered mine “Whiz Wit’” which means melted cheese whiz and fried onion. Mmm. To finish off the night, Nick took me to his favorite local dive, a perpetually unfinished bar called Bob and Barbara’s. They have a $3 special where you get a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Jim Beam. Still on camp time, we only had one of those and came back for an early night. In my typical style, I was asleep the moment the lights went out.
Nick: Feels good to be back in what I can confidently call my favorite city in America. And now, for your viewing pleasure, photos from a creepy, possibly haunted, prison in serious need of repair. Brian and Nick out.
Bass River State Park, NJ through Philadelphia, PA
Brian: Next stop, Philadelphia. But as it is literally impossible to leave New Jersey without paying a toll, we wanted to see as many touristy things as possible before we crossed over. By combining the powers of the Weird US book and the Intermet, we located about 4 or 5 attractions that would take us on a parabolic route through the state. Stop one was the world’s largest light bulb. Naturally to be found in the town of Edison.
Nick: Naturally to be found? I’m no English major, but I am a little suspicious about the grammatical integrity of that sentence. Anyway, the light bulb was way up on a giant pole-tower thing, so climbing in, on, or around the artifact was out of the question. Next stop was Hitler’s toilet. As the story goes, New Jersey somehow ended up with Hitler’s yacht. The state, in an effort to destroy what might possibly become something of an homage to history’s greatest tyrant, disassembled the vessel and dispersed its components amongst the townspeople. The ship’s toilet, as it turns out, consequently resides in a grungy auto-repair shop. Despite the degradation of the toilet’s condition along with a familiar yet viciously pungent odor, I felt truly moved by such an important piece of world history. Awe struck even.
Brian: Der Fuhrer’s shittentrapper. Indeed impressive. After a quick chat with the mechanic, we moved on to the next attraction. Like the Skowhegan Indian (and I apologize for bringing it up) Mighty Joe was located to the side of a gas station. Unlike the BFI, when I beheld Mighty Joe, I did not fall into a deepening spiral of humanity questioning despair. Mighty Joe was a 40-foot gorilla statue/memorial for a deceased body-building son. I believe gas stations are the family business (it is lamented on the plaque that Joe did not live to enter the family business) and so it makes sense that Mighty Joe would be located on gas station property. Another notable event: at the gas station, a rather rough and beat-up looking youth kindly saved the life of a stick bug. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Nick: Hmm. The next stop was the world’s largest miniature trainscape. OK, so, I know that doesn’t sound super exciting to some of you, but I used to build trainscapes and it was a great hobby so yeah, I was pumped. Also, who doesn’t like things in miniature? But alas, it was closed. Tuesday’s are not good days for train watching. Who knew? No biggie, we just headed to a local coffee shop that looked good. You know, take some time out of the day, do a little blogging. What? Cool local coffee shop is closed on Tuesdays too? What’s your game New Jersey… The next real stop was Brian’s friend Julie’s house. It was to be our respite for the night.
Brian: The evening was relatively casual. Julie suggested that we go to the world’s best grocery store (according to the food network, maybe?) to purchase our evening’s beverages. We decided to branch out from our usual Yuengling Lager, and sample the Yuengling Black and Tan. It was a delicious accompaniment to a night of Rock Band with Julie’s siblings, Jack and Steph. Thank you to her father for cooking us a delicious dinner of chicken and mushrooms. It was a nice change of pace from hotdogs over an open flame. Although I doubt I’ve seen the last of those.
Nick: Hope not. That about does it for our Tuesday, we’ve got some pics for you this post. Enjoy. Brian and Nick out.
Nick: Naturally to be found? I’m no English major, but I am a little suspicious about the grammatical integrity of that sentence. Anyway, the light bulb was way up on a giant pole-tower thing, so climbing in, on, or around the artifact was out of the question. Next stop was Hitler’s toilet. As the story goes, New Jersey somehow ended up with Hitler’s yacht. The state, in an effort to destroy what might possibly become something of an homage to history’s greatest tyrant, disassembled the vessel and dispersed its components amongst the townspeople. The ship’s toilet, as it turns out, consequently resides in a grungy auto-repair shop. Despite the degradation of the toilet’s condition along with a familiar yet viciously pungent odor, I felt truly moved by such an important piece of world history. Awe struck even.
Brian: Der Fuhrer’s shittentrapper. Indeed impressive. After a quick chat with the mechanic, we moved on to the next attraction. Like the Skowhegan Indian (and I apologize for bringing it up) Mighty Joe was located to the side of a gas station. Unlike the BFI, when I beheld Mighty Joe, I did not fall into a deepening spiral of humanity questioning despair. Mighty Joe was a 40-foot gorilla statue/memorial for a deceased body-building son. I believe gas stations are the family business (it is lamented on the plaque that Joe did not live to enter the family business) and so it makes sense that Mighty Joe would be located on gas station property. Another notable event: at the gas station, a rather rough and beat-up looking youth kindly saved the life of a stick bug. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Nick: Hmm. The next stop was the world’s largest miniature trainscape. OK, so, I know that doesn’t sound super exciting to some of you, but I used to build trainscapes and it was a great hobby so yeah, I was pumped. Also, who doesn’t like things in miniature? But alas, it was closed. Tuesday’s are not good days for train watching. Who knew? No biggie, we just headed to a local coffee shop that looked good. You know, take some time out of the day, do a little blogging. What? Cool local coffee shop is closed on Tuesdays too? What’s your game New Jersey… The next real stop was Brian’s friend Julie’s house. It was to be our respite for the night.
Brian: The evening was relatively casual. Julie suggested that we go to the world’s best grocery store (according to the food network, maybe?) to purchase our evening’s beverages. We decided to branch out from our usual Yuengling Lager, and sample the Yuengling Black and Tan. It was a delicious accompaniment to a night of Rock Band with Julie’s siblings, Jack and Steph. Thank you to her father for cooking us a delicious dinner of chicken and mushrooms. It was a nice change of pace from hotdogs over an open flame. Although I doubt I’ve seen the last of those.
Nick: Hope not. That about does it for our Tuesday, we’ve got some pics for you this post. Enjoy. Brian and Nick out.
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