Arlington VA Day 2

Brian: Warning: Epic update. Nick and I haven’t felt like writing for the past couple of days, but we are trying to keep our promise of never falling more than 3 days behind. Lucky you readers, we are back in the zone and we have a large basket of ripe material. The day started with us giving Alex a ride to the Capitol building for work. It’s the least we can do in return for his hospitality. Nick and I decided to make it another museum day, but rather than hit Smithsonian hotspots, we wanted to check out the less visited museums of the D.C. area. First stop was the Drug Enforcement Agency Museum on the first floor of the DEA headquarters. The gift shop was a head shop. Kidding. Anyway, the coolest thing I saw there was an undercover DEA agent outfit from the 1970’s. A pair of green gator skin shoes with 2-inch soles and a rabbit fur coat. Second coolest thing: a revolver with a diamond studded grip. As we left the museum, about 15 protesters of varying age were approaching the building, carrying signs related to the legalization of marijuana. They were clearly hippies, though several of them tried to hide this fact by donning business suits. But I thought the long grey pulled back hair and bizarre facial hair configurations were a dead giveaway. They began digging in the grass in front of the DEA headquarters and sprinkling what appeared to be pot seeds in the holes. Although, Mom, that’s just a guess, because I’ve never seen pot seeds before.

Nick: We cruised around the block one more time, curious to see what sort of law enforcement would show up. Within a couple minutes, a pair of squad cars arrived, though the protesters continued with their rapid horticultural activities. You’d think they’d at least be charged with vandalism or something. The police really didn’t seem to care. After the DEA building, we went downtown and hit up Madame Tussaude’s Wax Museum. Pricey but we think it was worth it. Check out the photos at the end of this post and we think you’ll agree. The first question on our minds was, of course, where is the wax clone of Miley Cyrus. Alas, we must just not have the technology yet, because we eventually discovered that she was in fact not there. I did however, as a sort of consolation, manage to snap a pick of her singing on a projection screen behind Beyoncé’s waxen form. Yeah, I’m pretty handy with the iPhone cam these days. It’s not a big deal. My personal favorites: Abe Lincoln, George Bush, and Hillary Clinton, though I think Sir Elton John gets an honorable mention.

Brian: Only one more thing to say about that place: I motorboated Tyra Banks, and I’m counting it. Our next stop was the Spy Museum, which is just across the street. The admission prices were quite steep, so Nick and I made a judgment call and decided to simply check out the gift shop. It was probably a good call, because we all know that the super cool stuff we all care about is probably still classified anyway. Like I care about some stupid decoder ring still in the original packaging from a cereal box in the 50’s. Give me flame-thrower pens or give me death! It was a short stop overall, but at least we could say we were there. Next, we took a lesson from yesterday and proceeded with a soothing afternoon in a bookstore café so that we wouldn’t fall asleep at 9:30 again. Good thing, too. The second phase of the day began at around 5:15 pm when we met my friend Arielle (whose name I intentionally mispronounce in a variety of ways) for a beer at a pub on the Hill called Hawk and Dove.

Nick: Nothing much to say about the place, except that it had free cheddar potatoes, which were as delicious as they were random. Next stop was to pick up Alex and then, after some considerable consideration, head over to a none-too-nearby IHOP because Arielle needed some waffles. Normally I’d like to give someone with this sort of irrational determination a hard time, but I can understand and respect a burning desire for a specific consumable at a specific time. The desire, for example, for a certain soda. A dark, thick, old-tasting kind of soda. Maybe it has an orange can, and its name is synonymous with guts, gusto, or “nerve.”

Brian: Associate that.

Nick: I think I’ve said too much. IHOP, as it turns out, was pretty delicious, so I guess Arielle made the right call. After pancakes galore, we dropped her off at her apartment then headed back to Alex’s place to plan our next move. That move, as it turned out, was to watch “The Hangover” in a theatre that served beer. Admission was two dollars. God bless America.

Brian: Also, God bless 100-proof SoCo. That should have been my first indication that it was going to be a long night (and an even longer morning). Yes, the theatre that served beer was an amazing place of magic and wonder, and that movie is hilarious. More than made up for the craptastic Couple’s Retreat disaster. After the movie let out, we snagged a cab back downtown (we went in and out of D.C. a total of 8 times according to my data) to a bar. The name of this bar escapes me.

Nick: Something Rocket? Rockethead?

Brian: Wow, maybe. I think you are right about the “rocket” part. Highlights from the bar were Alex’s friend Billy (a girl) who seemed quite nice and also a group of wildly drunk chicks that were teaching their freshly 21 year-old friend the true meaning of regret. The birthday girl was wearing a lavender dress made out of what appeared to be not much more than an old tube sock. Also a drunken kid with no friends and one of those lisps where you spit a lot decided that I was his new best friend and gave me a salivary car wash. Things get a little fuzzy from there on out. Nick?

Nick: Yeah, I remember punishing a kid that thought he knew a thing or two about billiards, then chatting it up with a couple guys that had come from a Kiss concert and were completely decked out in the corresponding make up and outfits. All in all, a great night. Thanks again to Alex who actually slept on the floor for our time there so that we might have the bed. He’s good people. Brian and Nick out.